¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

I want to get a modern hanbok dress this summer!

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¹Î
2025-01-22 1806

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I told you that I love to wear modern hanbok when I meet with my friends.
So I want to get a modern hanbok dress this summer.

It is very hard to look for hanbok dress which is to my taste by Internet.
Some dresses are so cheap that the quality looks bad.
And other dresses look beautiful for me but the price is too expensive.

I heard that the hanbok expo has been held every year in Seoul, and people can watch and buy hanbok in this event.
I will visit this expo this year and get a suitable hanbok dress!

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there once again, Min!

Truly, finding the perfect hanbok dress may be challenging due to its authenticity and fabric. When you want a quality hanbok just like any other clothing, you have to pay the price. Thus, go to that expo and find that one impeccable hanbok that best suits you.

Here you can see that the reference for the 'Internet' is 'on'. 'Moreover' or 'in addition' are better conjunctions to use to transition your next sentence since 'and' is used to connect two similar ideas.

Great job! See you.

-T. Donna~

I told you that I love to wear modern hanbok when I meet with my friends.
So I want to get a modern hanbok dress this summer.
>> Correct!

It is very hard to look for hanbok dress which is to my taste by Internet.
Some dresses are so cheap that the quality looks bad.
And other dresses look beautiful for me but the price is too expensive.
>> It is very hard to look for hanbok dress which is to my taste on the Internet.
Some dresses are so cheap that the quality looks bad.
Moreover, other dresses look beautiful for me but the price is too expensive.


I heard that the hanbok expo has been held every year in Seoul, and people can watch and buy hanbok in this event.
I will visit this expo this year and get a suitable hanbok dress!
>> Correct! Very good sentences!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
140131 What do you like most about Suncheon? Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-29 2
140130 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-09-29 9
140129 29sep2024_Homework ±è*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-09-29 2599
140128 Homework ¾È*µµ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-29 1
140127 Homework ¿À*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-09-29 1
140126 homework ½É*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-09-28 1
140125 Why do you think people sometimes ignore or overlook others who... ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-09-28 2548
140124 How do you cheer up people in your family when they are feeling... ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-28 1
140123 Who is your favorite musician, band, or group? How important are... ¿À*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-09-27 2131
140122 Home work ½Å*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-09-27 1878
140121 homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-09-27 2800
140120 homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-09-27 2056
140119 How do your hobbies make you feel? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-27 2
140118 How much do you enjoy going out with friends? What activities do... ÀÌ*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2024-09-27 2087
140117 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-09-27 2007
140116 Do you believe things happen for a reason, or can they happen... ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-09-27 2365
140115 Whale singing µµ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-27 2235
140114 homework! ÃÖ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-27 2340
140113 I can do for my friends Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-27 4
140112 Do you believe cosmetics companies\' ads that say their products... ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-09-27 2153

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04