¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

First essay!!

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*¹Î
2025-01-22 1462

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Summer became longer and hotter because of climate change. So UV is stronger than before. Originally, the rain period is on August. So it was raining almost everyday. But it was raining occasionally during the rain period of this year. Long time ago, our four seasons are very distinct. But nowdays, spring and fall are too short, summer and winter are too long. And spring is also cold like winter, fall is also hot like summer. Their boundary is very ambiguous. For example, yellow dust is originally character of spring. But yellow dust severely appeared on January

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Yumin!!!

I encourage you to to assess yourself and set up your goals, these goals are ownership or your learnings. So start setting up your goals if life and especially in setting up your goals in learning English these are your treasures. I can see you your potentials in speaking keep it up.!!!!
T. Jeny


Summer became longer and hotter because of climate change.
>>Summer has become longer and hotter because of climate change.
 So UV is stronger than before. Originally, the rain period is on August. 
>>So the UV is stronger than before. Originally, the rain period was in August. 
So it was raining almost everyday. 
>>So it was raining almost every day.
But it was raining occasionally during the rain period of this year. 
>>Correct
OR>>But for last year, it rained occasionally.
Long time ago, our four seasons are very distinct. 
>>Correct
But nowdays, spring and fall are too short, summer and winter are too long.
>>But nowadays, spring and fall are too short, and summer and winter are too long.
 And spring is also cold like winter, fall is also hot like summer. 
>>Spring is also cold like winter, and fall is also hot like summer. 
Their boundary is very ambiguous.
>>Correct
 For example, yellow dust is originally character of spring.
>>For example, yellow dust was only common in spring.
 But yellow dust severely appeared on January
>>But now we can experience yellow dust as early as January.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
141827 What¡¯s your favorite memory with your family? ÀÌ*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2025-01-07 2
141826 Homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-07 0
141825 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-07 1762
141824 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-07 1515
141823 Is technology developing faster than it used to? Are you worried... ¼Û*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-07 1801
141822 We have to make Plan B ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-01-07 2
141821 Home work ³ª*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2025-01-07 1
141820 What cheers you up when you are sad? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-07 1421
141819 Are there things/people at work that distract you so much that... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-07 1388
141818 Is there anything that makes you learn better? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-07 1638
141817 What would you say if you could talk to your future self? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-07 1384
141816 Homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-07 0
141815 would you relocate to another country for work? ÃÖ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-07 1835
141814 Homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-07 1483
141813 working hours ÇÑ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2025-01-07 1394
141812 How do you define success? Á¶*¸í ¿Ï·á 2025-01-07 4
141811 \"Lessons I\'ve Learned from My Favorite Movies\". ³ë*ö ¿Ï·á 2025-01-07 1879
141810 Homework & Question ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-07 1567
141809 addiction ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-07 1
141808 modern family ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-07 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04