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영작교정 게시판

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자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
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What surprised you the most about your experiences with shamanism in Japan?

작성자: 노*철
2025-01-24 1453

회원님의 영작문

While traveling in Japan, we can see that there are various temples in Japan, from small to large temples in the city center.
The first thing that surprised me was that there were so many temples.
I later learned that there are also special places on a small scale for ceremonies in private houses like temples.
In general, when we think of shamanism, we can think that older generations are more dependent on shamanism than younger generations.
The most surprising thing is that in Japan, many younger generations join hands in temples and pray reverently.
What was unusual was that before putting their hands together, they hit them like clapping their hands a few times and make a sound before praying.
In the town by the sea in Korea, they always keep their own shamanistic rituals to return the ship without an accident.
Japan is also an island country, so I think it will be similar.
I think the environment affects our lifestyle and religion, so it appears like this.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi David! Your sentences are thoughtful and well-organized, and they reflect a clear understanding of cultural differences and practices. A couple of minor adjustments were made to enhance clarity and flow, but overall, your ideas are expressed effectively. Keep up the great work!


~ T. Lia


While traveling in Japan, we can see that there are various temples in Japan, from small to large temples in the city center.
>> While traveling in Japan, we can see that there are various temples, from small to large ones in the city center.


The first thing that surprised me was that there were so many temples.
>> CORRECT


I later learned that there are also special places on a small scale for ceremonies in private houses like temples.
>> I later learned that there are also special small-scale places for ceremonies in private houses, similar to temples.


In general, when we think of shamanism, we can think that older generations are more dependent on shamanism than younger generations.
>> In general, when we think of shamanism, we can conclude that older generations are more dependent on it than younger generations.


The most surprising thing is that in Japan, many younger generations join hands in temples and pray reverently.

>> The most surprising thing is that in Japan, many young people join hands in temples and pray reverently.


What was unusual was that before putting their hands together, they hit them like clapping their hands a few times and make a sound before praying.

>> What was unusual was that before putting their hands together, they clapped a few times to make a sound before praying.


In the town by the sea in Korea, they always keep their own shamanistic rituals to return the ship without an accident.
>> In the town by the sea in Korea, they always follow their shamanistic rituals to ensure the ship returns without an accident.


Japan is also an island country, so I think it will be similar.
>> CORRECT


I think the environment affects our lifestyle and religion, so it appears like this.
>> I think the environment affects our lifestyle and religion, which results in this.



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