¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What surprised you the most about your experiences with shamanism in Japan?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ³ë*ö
2025-01-24 1443

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

While traveling in Japan, we can see that there are various temples in Japan, from small to large temples in the city center.
The first thing that surprised me was that there were so many temples.
I later learned that there are also special places on a small scale for ceremonies in private houses like temples.
In general, when we think of shamanism, we can think that older generations are more dependent on shamanism than younger generations.
The most surprising thing is that in Japan, many younger generations join hands in temples and pray reverently.
What was unusual was that before putting their hands together, they hit them like clapping their hands a few times and make a sound before praying.
In the town by the sea in Korea, they always keep their own shamanistic rituals to return the ship without an accident.
Japan is also an island country, so I think it will be similar.
I think the environment affects our lifestyle and religion, so it appears like this.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi David! Your sentences are thoughtful and well-organized, and they reflect a clear understanding of cultural differences and practices. A couple of minor adjustments were made to enhance clarity and flow, but overall, your ideas are expressed effectively. Keep up the great work!


~ T. Lia


While traveling in Japan, we can see that there are various temples in Japan, from small to large temples in the city center.
>> While traveling in Japan, we can see that there are various temples, from small to large ones in the city center.


The first thing that surprised me was that there were so many temples.
>> CORRECT


I later learned that there are also special places on a small scale for ceremonies in private houses like temples.
>> I later learned that there are also special small-scale places for ceremonies in private houses, similar to temples.


In general, when we think of shamanism, we can think that older generations are more dependent on shamanism than younger generations.
>> In general, when we think of shamanism, we can conclude that older generations are more dependent on it than younger generations.


The most surprising thing is that in Japan, many younger generations join hands in temples and pray reverently.

>> The most surprising thing is that in Japan, many young people join hands in temples and pray reverently.


What was unusual was that before putting their hands together, they hit them like clapping their hands a few times and make a sound before praying.

>> What was unusual was that before putting their hands together, they clapped a few times to make a sound before praying.


In the town by the sea in Korea, they always keep their own shamanistic rituals to return the ship without an accident.
>> In the town by the sea in Korea, they always follow their shamanistic rituals to ensure the ship returns without an accident.


Japan is also an island country, so I think it will be similar.
>> CORRECT


I think the environment affects our lifestyle and religion, so it appears like this.
>> I think the environment affects our lifestyle and religion, which results in this.



¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
141614 What does ¡°stay positive in a negative situation¡± mean? ½Å*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-12-20 1615
141613 How do Korean retirees usually spend their days? ¼Û*ÀÚ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-20 2
141612 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-20 1592
141611 Homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-20 1610
141610 Homework ÇÑ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-12-20 1
141609 What makes you happy these days? ¼Û*ÀÚ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-20 2
141608 Homework & Question ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-20 1829
141607 Homework ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-20 1583
141606 How do you see yourself 10 years from now? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-20 1815
141605 How do you typically celebrate your achievements? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-20 1666
141604 Do you believe that sometimes tough love is necessary for... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-20 1927
141603 What are the most common organizations in your country and what... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-20 1383
141602 These days, artificial intelligence can write, code, and make... Àå*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-20 2
141601 Home work ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-20 1717
141600 Expect brings happiness ÀÓ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-20 1375
141599 Why do you think having routines can make life more organized... ³ë*ö ¿Ï·á 2024-12-20 1858
141598 Family tradition ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-20 1512
141597 Globalization waves unavoidable trend ÀÌ*Çü ¿Ï·á 2024-12-20 1320
141596 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-20 2
141595 What historical sites did you visit and what did you learn? ¼Û*ÀÚ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-19 5

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04