¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

I did my homework.🤗

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¿À*¿µ
2025-02-06 1174

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®



Hello jewel~
I know the reason why the file was not uploaded, yesterday.
Because the picture needed too large memory.
So, I controled the file and attatached again.
And I wrote the topic that
¡°What¡¯s purchase you wish you hadn¡¯t made, why?¡±
There are a lot of things in my room. Above all, I can choose many childeren¡¯s books for my son. My son read almost books at least once. But I couldn¡¯t put away them from my bookshelves. Because I was sure that he would read them again. However, It is not happened.Even though they become a kind of wall. He no longer needs them as growing up.It would tidy all things up better. But I feel hard to remove them, yet. I¡¯m still expect him to read the books.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Stella! Thank you for sharing these sentiments about your family. I hope you can deal with these concerns and enjoy a happy life with your family. ^^ Have a great weekend!

~T. Jewel

When I was young, my dad passed away early.

>>My dad passed away when I was young.

OR

>>When I was young, my dad passed away at an early age.
I was 14 years old.

>>CORRECT
Our family usually used to send time all together with grandparents and other cousins every big holidays.

>>Our family usually spent time together with our grandparents and other cousins on every big holiday.
But, we didn't do like that anymore after the event.

>>But we didn¡¯t do that anymore after the event.
When our family visted grand parents house, they didn't greet us.

>>When our family visited our grandparents' house, they didn't greet us.
I could felt the atmospere even though I was child.

>>I could feel the atmosphere even though I was a child.
So, my mother, younger brother and I sent time to celebrebrate the holiday.

>>So, my mother, younger brother, and I spent time celebrating the holiday.

Only with us.

>>It's just the three of us.

I sometimes thought we was looked so lonely.

>>I sometimes thought we looked so lonely.
On the other hand, we could spend time together simply because we did what we wanted to do, for example sleeping late in the afternoon.

>>On the other hand, we could spend time together simply because we did what we wanted to do, such as sleeping late in the afternoon.

Now, I have a family-in law and I send time with many people.

>>Now, I have a family-in-law, and I spend time with many people.

It is happy to me but, I sometimes remember that time.

>>It makes me happy, but I sometimes remember that time.

~~~~


There are a lot of things in my room. 

>>CORRECT

Above all, I can choose many childeren¡¯s books for my son. 

>>Above all, I can choose many children's books for my son.

My son read almost books at least once.

>>My son has read almost all the books at least once.

But I couldn¡¯t put away them from my bookshelves. 

>>But I couldn¡¯t put them away from my bookshelves.

Because I was sure that he would read them again. 

>>CORRECT

However, It is not happened.

>>However, it did not happen.

Even though they become a kind of wall. 

>>They look like a wall.

He no longer needs them as growing up.

>>He no longer needs them as he is growing up.

It would tidy all things up better. 

>>I would tidy everything up better.

But I feel hard to remove them, yet.

>>But I find it hard to remove them yet.

I¡¯m still expect him to read the books.

>>I'm still expecting him to read the books.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
142237 Homework & Question ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-02 1309
142236 What did you enjoy the most about Seollal this year? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2025-02-02 1242
142235 Homework ÀÌ*µµ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-02 1377
142234 Homework ÀÌ*µµ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-02 1034
142233 Was the last year a good year for you? What were some of its... ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-02 1407
142232 31Jan2025 homework ±è*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2025-02-02 1524
142231 27Jan2025 homework ±è*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2025-02-02 1288
142230 HOMEWORK: What should you do to gain more confidence? ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2025-02-02 4
142229 What kind of allergy is the worst? Why? Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-02 1592
142228 Write a sentence using \'Good luck\'. Complete the sentence... ÀÌ*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2025-02-02 3
142227 child\'s labor ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-02 1274
142226 show you my confidence. Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-01 1464
142225 What¡¯s a place you¡¯d recommend to someone visiting Korea for... ¼Û*ÀÚ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-01 1
142224 yes, I love oranges. À¯*ºó ¿Ï·á 2025-02-01 1421
142223 \"Importance of Rest and Balance in a Busy Life¡° ³ë*ö ¿Ï·á 2025-02-01 1443
142222 Homework ½Å*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-31 2
142221 What do you do to easily get along with other people? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2025-01-31 1516
142220 Organ donation is one of the best donations that people can do ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-01-31 1
142219 The book that I¡¯ll introduce today is ¡®The First-time Teacher... À¯*ºó ¿Ï·á 2025-01-31 1225
142218 Dear, Cathy teacher ¹è*ºó ¿Ï·á 2025-01-31 1267

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04