¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

I did my homework.🤗

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¿À*¿µ
2025-02-06 1347

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®



Hello jewel~
I know the reason why the file was not uploaded, yesterday.
Because the picture needed too large memory.
So, I controled the file and attatached again.
And I wrote the topic that
¡°What¡¯s purchase you wish you hadn¡¯t made, why?¡±
There are a lot of things in my room. Above all, I can choose many childeren¡¯s books for my son. My son read almost books at least once. But I couldn¡¯t put away them from my bookshelves. Because I was sure that he would read them again. However, It is not happened.Even though they become a kind of wall. He no longer needs them as growing up.It would tidy all things up better. But I feel hard to remove them, yet. I¡¯m still expect him to read the books.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Stella! Thank you for sharing these sentiments about your family. I hope you can deal with these concerns and enjoy a happy life with your family. ^^ Have a great weekend!

~T. Jewel

When I was young, my dad passed away early.

>>My dad passed away when I was young.

OR

>>When I was young, my dad passed away at an early age.
I was 14 years old.

>>CORRECT
Our family usually used to send time all together with grandparents and other cousins every big holidays.

>>Our family usually spent time together with our grandparents and other cousins on every big holiday.
But, we didn't do like that anymore after the event.

>>But we didn¡¯t do that anymore after the event.
When our family visted grand parents house, they didn't greet us.

>>When our family visited our grandparents' house, they didn't greet us.
I could felt the atmospere even though I was child.

>>I could feel the atmosphere even though I was a child.
So, my mother, younger brother and I sent time to celebrebrate the holiday.

>>So, my mother, younger brother, and I spent time celebrating the holiday.

Only with us.

>>It's just the three of us.

I sometimes thought we was looked so lonely.

>>I sometimes thought we looked so lonely.
On the other hand, we could spend time together simply because we did what we wanted to do, for example sleeping late in the afternoon.

>>On the other hand, we could spend time together simply because we did what we wanted to do, such as sleeping late in the afternoon.

Now, I have a family-in law and I send time with many people.

>>Now, I have a family-in-law, and I spend time with many people.

It is happy to me but, I sometimes remember that time.

>>It makes me happy, but I sometimes remember that time.

~~~~


There are a lot of things in my room. 

>>CORRECT

Above all, I can choose many childeren¡¯s books for my son. 

>>Above all, I can choose many children's books for my son.

My son read almost books at least once.

>>My son has read almost all the books at least once.

But I couldn¡¯t put away them from my bookshelves. 

>>But I couldn¡¯t put them away from my bookshelves.

Because I was sure that he would read them again. 

>>CORRECT

However, It is not happened.

>>However, it did not happen.

Even though they become a kind of wall. 

>>They look like a wall.

He no longer needs them as growing up.

>>He no longer needs them as he is growing up.

It would tidy all things up better. 

>>I would tidy everything up better.

But I feel hard to remove them, yet.

>>But I find it hard to remove them yet.

I¡¯m still expect him to read the books.

>>I'm still expecting him to read the books.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
144443 ¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-04 305
144442 attending an English kindergarten ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-04 267
144441 Where do you see yourself in 5 years? ¿À*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2025-06-04 1
144440 . ±è*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-04 358
144439 what do you think your younger self would be most surprised to... ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2025-06-04 293
144438 homework ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2025-06-03 334
144437 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-03 0
144436 Are you confident that your new leader will bring change to your... ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-03 305
144435 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-06-03 1
144434 D9 essay homework ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2025-06-03 303
144433 Homework for today ¾ö*¸° ¿Ï·á 2025-06-03 2
144432 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-03 345
144431 What\'s your opinion on minors having jobs or earning money? Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-03 366
144430 Should companies have their own website? ¿©*Âù ¿Ï·á 2025-06-03 0
144429 How do people in your country usually show appreciation at... À±*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-03 0
144428 What habits can help someone be more punctual? À±*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-03 0
144427 ¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-03 297
144426 What are the advantages of using door passwords instead of... ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-03 276
144425 Social support system for older adults ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-03 288
144424 How do you treat yourself to make yourself feel better when the... Á¶*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2025-06-03 343

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04