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영작교정 게시판

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자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

I did my homework.🤗

작성자: 오*영
2025-02-06 1620

회원님의 영작문



Hello jewel~
I know the reason why the file was not uploaded, yesterday.
Because the picture needed too large memory.
So, I controled the file and attatached again.
And I wrote the topic that
“What’s purchase you wish you hadn’t made, why?”
There are a lot of things in my room. Above all, I can choose many childeren’s books for my son. My son read almost books at least once. But I couldn’t put away them from my bookshelves. Because I was sure that he would read them again. However, It is not happened.Even though they become a kind of wall. He no longer needs them as growing up.It would tidy all things up better. But I feel hard to remove them, yet. I’m still expect him to read the books.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi, Stella! Thank you for sharing these sentiments about your family. I hope you can deal with these concerns and enjoy a happy life with your family. ^^ Have a great weekend!

~T. Jewel

When I was young, my dad passed away early.

>>My dad passed away when I was young.

OR

>>When I was young, my dad passed away at an early age.
I was 14 years old.

>>CORRECT
Our family usually used to send time all together with grandparents and other cousins every big holidays.

>>Our family usually spent time together with our grandparents and other cousins on every big holiday.
But, we didn't do like that anymore after the event.

>>But we didn’t do that anymore after the event.
When our family visted grand parents house, they didn't greet us.

>>When our family visited our grandparents' house, they didn't greet us.
I could felt the atmospere even though I was child.

>>I could feel the atmosphere even though I was a child.
So, my mother, younger brother and I sent time to celebrebrate the holiday.

>>So, my mother, younger brother, and I spent time celebrating the holiday.

Only with us.

>>It's just the three of us.

I sometimes thought we was looked so lonely.

>>I sometimes thought we looked so lonely.
On the other hand, we could spend time together simply because we did what we wanted to do, for example sleeping late in the afternoon.

>>On the other hand, we could spend time together simply because we did what we wanted to do, such as sleeping late in the afternoon.

Now, I have a family-in law and I send time with many people.

>>Now, I have a family-in-law, and I spend time with many people.

It is happy to me but, I sometimes remember that time.

>>It makes me happy, but I sometimes remember that time.

~~~~


There are a lot of things in my room. 

>>CORRECT

Above all, I can choose many childeren’s books for my son. 

>>Above all, I can choose many children's books for my son.

My son read almost books at least once.

>>My son has read almost all the books at least once.

But I couldn’t put away them from my bookshelves. 

>>But I couldn’t put them away from my bookshelves.

Because I was sure that he would read them again. 

>>CORRECT

However, It is not happened.

>>However, it did not happen.

Even though they become a kind of wall. 

>>They look like a wall.

He no longer needs them as growing up.

>>He no longer needs them as he is growing up.

It would tidy all things up better. 

>>I would tidy everything up better.

But I feel hard to remove them, yet.

>>But I find it hard to remove them yet.

I’m still expect him to read the books.

>>I'm still expecting him to read the books.

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