¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What is work-life balance and why is it important?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¼Û*ÈÆ
2025-02-06 1619

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my opinion, work-life balance is ¡®you don¡¯t invest your whole time and energy in work so that you can enjoy your hobbies or spend time with people whom you love.¡¯
Since the industrial revolution, people had surplus time to spend of their lives because machines offered efficiency to human¡¯s work. Also work time decreased from 6days to 5days. People started to spend their surplus time in various kinds of ways. Mainstream of society persuaded people to enjoy their lives and emphasized personal happiness.
I believe work-life balance is important because people need break. Even the God took a rest on the 7th day in creation period. Rest gives people more energy and motivation so that people maintain health and strong will.
When my goal is achieved, I will go to the gym to gain muscles by working out after work and also I want to learn something new skills such as cooking or car maintenance.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Diego!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. You really did well! :)
~ T. Camille


In my opinion, work-life balance is ¡®you don¡¯t invest your whole time and energy in work so that you can enjoy your hobbies or spend time with people whom you love.¡¯
>> CORRECT!
Since the industrial revolution, people had surplus time to spend of their lives because machines offered efficiency to human¡¯s work. 
>> Since the industrial revolution, people had surplus time to spend on their lives because machines offered efficiency to human¡¯s work. 
Also, work time decreased from 6 days to 5 days. 
>> CORRECT!
People started to spend their surplus time in various kinds of ways. 
>> CORRECT!
Mainstream of society persuaded people to enjoy their lives and emphasized personal happiness.
>> The mainstream of society persuaded people to enjoy their lives and emphasized personal happiness.
I believe work-life balance is important because people need a break. 
>> CORRECT!
Even the God took a rest on the 7th day in creation period. 
>> Even God took a rest on the 7th day in the period of creation. 
Rest gives people more energy and motivation so that people maintain health and strong will.
>> CORRECT!
When my goal is achieved, I will go to the gym to gain muscles by working out after work and also I want to learn something new skills such as cooking or car maintenance.
>> CORRECT!

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
144711 . ±è*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-21 0
144710 . ±è*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-21 0
144709 What do you think is the best way to build a closer relationship... ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2025-06-20 392
144708 What do you think makes a visitor feel welcome? Explain. ±è*¼ø ¿Ï·á 2025-06-20 395
144707 test Te*002 ¿Ï·á 2025-06-20 0
144706 ¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-20 408
144705 Who do you want to meet one day? why? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-20 388
144704 Do you think flexible work hours would benefit most people? Why... Á¶*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2025-06-20 372
144703 Homework. ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-06-20 4
144702 ¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-20 557
144701 I smile a lot a day. À¯*ºó ¿Ï·á 2025-06-20 420
144700 ¤Ó¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-20 347
144699 Homework ¼Û*Çö ¿Ï·á 2025-06-20 4
144698 burget ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-20 418
144697 Knowing the artist\'s background ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-20 363
144696 ¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-20 326
144695 homework ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2025-06-20 499
144694 What was the best dining experience you had? ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2025-06-20 3
144693 wish to be an actor ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2025-06-20 392
144692 0619 IELTS writing Task1 homework ¼Û*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-19 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04