¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What is work-life balance and why is it important?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¼Û*ÈÆ
2025-02-06 1530

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my opinion, work-life balance is ¡®you don¡¯t invest your whole time and energy in work so that you can enjoy your hobbies or spend time with people whom you love.¡¯
Since the industrial revolution, people had surplus time to spend of their lives because machines offered efficiency to human¡¯s work. Also work time decreased from 6days to 5days. People started to spend their surplus time in various kinds of ways. Mainstream of society persuaded people to enjoy their lives and emphasized personal happiness.
I believe work-life balance is important because people need break. Even the God took a rest on the 7th day in creation period. Rest gives people more energy and motivation so that people maintain health and strong will.
When my goal is achieved, I will go to the gym to gain muscles by working out after work and also I want to learn something new skills such as cooking or car maintenance.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Diego!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. You really did well! :)
~ T. Camille


In my opinion, work-life balance is ¡®you don¡¯t invest your whole time and energy in work so that you can enjoy your hobbies or spend time with people whom you love.¡¯
>> CORRECT!
Since the industrial revolution, people had surplus time to spend of their lives because machines offered efficiency to human¡¯s work. 
>> Since the industrial revolution, people had surplus time to spend on their lives because machines offered efficiency to human¡¯s work. 
Also, work time decreased from 6 days to 5 days. 
>> CORRECT!
People started to spend their surplus time in various kinds of ways. 
>> CORRECT!
Mainstream of society persuaded people to enjoy their lives and emphasized personal happiness.
>> The mainstream of society persuaded people to enjoy their lives and emphasized personal happiness.
I believe work-life balance is important because people need a break. 
>> CORRECT!
Even the God took a rest on the 7th day in creation period. 
>> Even God took a rest on the 7th day in the period of creation. 
Rest gives people more energy and motivation so that people maintain health and strong will.
>> CORRECT!
When my goal is achieved, I will go to the gym to gain muscles by working out after work and also I want to learn something new skills such as cooking or car maintenance.
>> CORRECT!

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
143657 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2025-04-16 962
143656 Do you think people should always return a favor? Why or why not? À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2025-04-15 1
143655 Name three types of fruit-bearing trees you would like to grow... ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-15 2
143654 What was your first day at work like? ¿©*Âù ¿Ï·á 2025-04-15 1
143653 What are your healthy and bad eating habits? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2025-04-15 1048
143652 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-04-15 1
143651 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-15 1086
143650 the same ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-15 0
143649 typhoon ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-15 0
143648 fear of heights ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-15 1
143647 4/15 Homework ±Ç*ºó ¿Ï·á 2025-04-15 2
143646 sharks ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-15 1
143645 homework ±è*º° ¿Ï·á 2025-04-15 1
143644 homework ±è*º° ¿Ï·á 2025-04-15 1
143643 How can a company attract talented employees? À±*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-15 998
143642 How has Holy Week changed over time? Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-15 1
143641 In what situations would you use the phrase \"Let¡¯s call it a... ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-15 938
143640 4/14 ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2025-04-15 1140
143639 4/14 ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2025-04-15 1138
143638 0414 IELTS writing Task2 homework ¼Û*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-15 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04