¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Subjects taught in school

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÇÑ*¿ø
2025-02-07 1555

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think the subjects taught in school are nessasary because they contain fundamental contents for raising democratic citiizens. However, it is important to teach those not to memorize by discussing and critical thinking

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Ms. Rachel! Thanks for doing your homework! While your essay is well-developed, you could strengthen the clarity of your argument by incorporating more specific examples in the second paragraph. 
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
I think the subjects taught in school are necessary because they contain fundamental contents for raising democratic citizens.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
However, it is important to teach those not to memorize by discussing and critical thinking...
>>> CORRECT~!^^
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
141521 Homework & Question ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-16 1491
141520 12/13 Homework ±Ç*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-12-16 1773
141519 How do you feel when people say something negative about you? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-16 2
141518 Homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-12-16 1600
141517 Homework ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-16 1666
141516 13Dec2024_Homework ±è*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-12-16 1755
141515 11dec2024_homework ±è*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-12-16 1849
141514 homework ÀÌ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-16 1
141513 Do you agree with the saying \"Health is Wealth\"? If yes, could... ³ë*ö ¿Ï·á 2024-12-16 1921
141512 Elitism of doctors and prosecutors ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-16 1525
141511 Please change it to an easy word so that I can use it at the... ÀÌ*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-16 1529
141510 What¡¯s the most memorable dining experience you¡¯ve ever had? ÀÌ*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2024-12-16 1
141509 Homework ÇÑ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-12-16 2
141508 Homework ÇÑ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-12-16 1
141507 What can you do well? ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-15 1554
141506 How can exercise help manage stress? Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-15 2
141505 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-12-15 1
141504 What jobs require physically fit individuals? Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-15 1
141503 13.Dec.2024 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-15 0
141502 What motivates you to stay so dedicated to your fitness routine? Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-15 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04