¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Subjects taught in school

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÇÑ*¿ø
2025-02-07 1567

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think the subjects taught in school are nessasary because they contain fundamental contents for raising democratic citiizens. However, it is important to teach those not to memorize by discussing and critical thinking

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Ms. Rachel! Thanks for doing your homework! While your essay is well-developed, you could strengthen the clarity of your argument by incorporating more specific examples in the second paragraph. 
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
I think the subjects taught in school are necessary because they contain fundamental contents for raising democratic citizens.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
However, it is important to teach those not to memorize by discussing and critical thinking...
>>> CORRECT~!^^
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
141470 Some people plan on taking up new hobbies when they retire. Are... Àå*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-12 0
141469 What are some manners from the past that are rarely or never... Àå*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-12 0
141468 How do you feel when you drink too much coffee? Àå*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-12 0
141467 What challenges do you think an immigrant faces in a new country? Àå*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-12 1
141466 Home work ½Å*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-12-12 1554
141465 Homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-12 1695
141464 Where is your dream travel destination? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-12 2016
141463 If you could receive one special Christmas gift this year what... ¿À*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-12 1714
141462 Homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-12-12 1878
141461 Which electronics brands do you trust most? ÃÖ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-12 1760
141460 homework ÀÌ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-12 1
141459 What¡¯s the most fun exercise you¡¯ve ever tried? ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-12-12 1952
141458 \"How Meeting with Church Members Strengthens Bonds¡° ³ë*ö ¿Ï·á 2024-12-12 1884
141457 what are some common reasons people feel guilty? ÃÖ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-12 1710
141456 Who is responsible for the care of your health? ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-12 1629
141455 Homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-11 1727
141454 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-12-11 1
141453 Is having a friend important? Why? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-12-11 1511
141452 Your efforts will never betray you ÀÓ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-11 1605
141451 How do you feel when you learn something new? Does it make you... ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-11 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04