¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*µµ
2025-02-09 1460

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Someone says that learning at school is a must. They say that learning at school is something they will use in their careers and that school can be fundamental to developing it.
However, someone says that learning at school is not necessary. It is said that learning at school is not necessary to enjoy everyday life.
I think it is essential to learn at school. This is because I don't learn general things such as math and science at school, but I also learn social life.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Lee! Thanks for doing your homework! Your essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic and effectively presents your argument. You¡¯ve shown strong analytical skills and made good connections between ideas. While your essay is well-developed, you could strengthen the clarity of your argument by incorporating more specific examples in the second paragraph. 
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
Someone says that learning at school is a must. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
They say that learning at school is something they will use in their careers and that school can be fundamental to developing it.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
However, someone says that learning at school is not necessary. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
It is said that learning at school is not necessary to enjoy everyday life.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
I think it is essential to learn at school. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
This is because I don't learn general things such as math and science at school, but I also learn from social life.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
142351 What is the importance of social activities? ¹Ú*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-02-07 1364
142350 How significant is keeping these manufacturing plants in Mexico... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2025-02-07 1302
142349 HOMEWORK ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-02-07 0
142348 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-06 2
142347 Waking up early vs waking up late ¼Õ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-06 1162
142346 My childhood memories in Suwon È«*Àº ¿Ï·á 2025-02-06 1598
142345 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-06 1304
142344 Future travel plan È«*Àº ¿Ï·á 2025-02-06 1131
142343 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-02-06 1
142342 What are the other disadvantages of talking on the phone? Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-06 3
142341 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-06 1290
142340 What is work-life balance and why is it important? ¼Û*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-06 1391
142339 2/5 HOMEWORK ±è*¼Ö ¿Ï·á 2025-02-06 2
142338 Do you think money can make people happy? Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-06 1484
142337 Have you ever owed someone? How? ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-06 1257
142336 River Flows In You ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-02-06 1
142335 homework~ (What are the last thing you did~?) Á¤*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-06 1202
142334 What are effective ways to keep our minds sharp as we age? Do... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-06 1052
142333 Why do many couples in Korea choose not to have children, even... ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-06 3
142332 I did my homework.🤗 ¿À*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-06 1256

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04