¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*µµ
2025-02-09 1049

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Someone says that learning at school is a must. They say that learning at school is something they will use in their careers and that school can be fundamental to developing it.
However, someone says that learning at school is not necessary. It is said that learning at school is not necessary to enjoy everyday life.
I think it is essential to learn at school. This is because I don't learn general things such as math and science at school, but I also learn social life.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Lee! Thanks for doing your homework! Your essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic and effectively presents your argument. You¡¯ve shown strong analytical skills and made good connections between ideas. While your essay is well-developed, you could strengthen the clarity of your argument by incorporating more specific examples in the second paragraph. 
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
Someone says that learning at school is a must. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
They say that learning at school is something they will use in their careers and that school can be fundamental to developing it.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
However, someone says that learning at school is not necessary. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
It is said that learning at school is not necessary to enjoy everyday life.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
I think it is essential to learn at school. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
This is because I don't learn general things such as math and science at school, but I also learn from social life.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
142367 Don\'t use credit card and instalment ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-02-07 1
142366 homework ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2025-02-07 1095
142365 Have you ever politely declined a gift? How did you explain your... ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2025-02-07 777
142364 parents or school ¾î*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-07 5
142363 Does your country celebrate a special event to commemorate... Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-02-07 1003
142362 As a foreigner living in another country, what are the biggest... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2025-02-07 989
142361 What¡¯s the coldest place you have ever been to? ¼Û*ÀÚ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-07 3
142360 dairy ±è*³ë ¿Ï·á 2025-02-07 1053
142359 Homework & Question ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-07 958
142358 How do you keep your hand relaxed while playing? ³ë*ö ¿Ï·á 2025-02-07 1049
142357 How do you manage your time with a very busy schedule? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2025-02-07 0
142356 Talk about an interesting culture that you learned or... ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-07 1242
142355 2/6 Homework ±Ç*ºó ¿Ï·á 2025-02-07 1
142354 If you could meet any famous person, who would it be and why? ¹Ú*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-02-07 936
142353 Does a buffet promote overconsumption? ¹Ú*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-02-07 892
142352 What is the best part of celebrating Lunar New Year? ¹Ú*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-02-07 826
142351 What is the importance of social activities? ¹Ú*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-02-07 915
142350 How significant is keeping these manufacturing plants in Mexico... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2025-02-07 910
142349 HOMEWORK ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-02-07 0
142348 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-06 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04