¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Does it need to go to school before the age of seven?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÇÑ*¿ø
2025-02-11 1255

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In modern society, I don't think children need to go to school before the age of seven, because they attend childcare institutions such as kindergartens at an earlier age. Childcare institutions like kindergartens are also places where children can experience group life and receive an education.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Ms. Rachel!

Your use of language is sophisticated, with varied sentence structures that enhance the overall flow. Your vocabulary is precise and contributes to the clarity. Keep it up!

>>> TEACHER GEMMA

In modern society, I don't think children need to go to school before the age of seven, because they attend childcare institutions such as kindergartens at an earlier age.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 Childcare institutions like kindergartens are also places where children can experience group life and receive an education.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
141982 stupid ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-15 1302
141981 1/14 homework ±Ç*ºó ¿Ï·á 2025-01-15 2
141980 [Homework] what are the instances that you wouldn\'t allow your... ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2025-01-15 0
141979 08Jan2025_Homework ±è*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2025-01-15 1374
141978 Homework & Question ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-15 1487
141977 13Jan2025_Homework ±è*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2025-01-15 1946
141976 Activities in Bohol ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-15 1340
141975 How often do you go for health check-ups? ÀÌ*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2025-01-15 5
141974 I\'don\'t agree the opinion. ÀÌ*Çü ¿Ï·á 2025-01-15 1284
141973 What¡¯s the best thing about Florida in your opinion? ¹Ú*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-01-15 1475
141972 What is your opinion on being unemployed? ¹Ú*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-01-15 1550
141971 Beach ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-01-15 2
141970 If there is a type of dish you want to learn, what would it be... ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-15 1608
141969 Which is better to grow up in, poverty or in wealth? ¼Õ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-14 1568
141968 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-01-14 1
141967 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-14 1529
141966 fast food ÇÑ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2025-01-14 1600
141965 Always remind \'Time is invaluable\' ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-01-14 2
141964 About my absent Àº*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-14 3
141963 The homework of 13th Jan. Á¶*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-14 1610

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04