¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Does it need to go to school before the age of seven?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÇÑ*¿ø
2025-02-11 1585

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In modern society, I don't think children need to go to school before the age of seven, because they attend childcare institutions such as kindergartens at an earlier age. Childcare institutions like kindergartens are also places where children can experience group life and receive an education.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Ms. Rachel!

Your use of language is sophisticated, with varied sentence structures that enhance the overall flow. Your vocabulary is precise and contributes to the clarity. Keep it up!

>>> TEACHER GEMMA

In modern society, I don't think children need to go to school before the age of seven, because they attend childcare institutions such as kindergartens at an earlier age.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 Childcare institutions like kindergartens are also places where children can experience group life and receive an education.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
144243 What is the best animated Hally Wood movie you\'ve ever watched... Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-22 919
144242 Can people easily buy medicine at Korean pharmacies even without... Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-22 740
144241 0521 IELTS writing Task2 homework ¼Û*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-22 1
144240 ¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-22 771
144239 Are you the type of person who would help someone who has passed... ÀÓ* ¿Ï·á 2025-05-22 1
144238 Writing Exercise: In 5 sentences, please write your expectations... Á¶*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2025-05-22 837
144237 . ±è*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-22 0
144236 What are some risks of embracing YOLO fully in life? ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2025-05-22 793
144235 Homework for today ¾ö*¸° ¿Ï·á 2025-05-22 2
144234 Homework for today ¾ö*¸° ¿Ï·á 2025-05-22 885
144233 The homework of 22rd May. Á¶*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-22 952
144232 homework ¹Ú*¿í ¿Ï·á 2025-05-22 1051
144231 homework ¹Ú*¿í ¿Ï·á 2025-05-22 1011
144230 Do you feel safe when using the internet? ±Ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-05-22 1
144229 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-21 0
144228 dd ±è*ÀÏ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-21 1
144227 What do you think are the main reasons some people still... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-21 903
144226 Can a nation¡¯s economic policy influence its international... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-21 881
144225 What is the most popular amusement park in your country, and why... ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2025-05-21 902
144224 What do you do if you can¡¯t reach a company¡¯s customer service? À±*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-21 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04