¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Does it need to go to school before the age of seven?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÇÑ*¿ø
2025-02-11 821

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In modern society, I don't think children need to go to school before the age of seven, because they attend childcare institutions such as kindergartens at an earlier age. Childcare institutions like kindergartens are also places where children can experience group life and receive an education.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Ms. Rachel!

Your use of language is sophisticated, with varied sentence structures that enhance the overall flow. Your vocabulary is precise and contributes to the clarity. Keep it up!

>>> TEACHER GEMMA

In modern society, I don't think children need to go to school before the age of seven, because they attend childcare institutions such as kindergartens at an earlier age.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 Childcare institutions like kindergartens are also places where children can experience group life and receive an education.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
142321 What makes a conversation interesting ? ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-06 758
142320 2/5 Homework ±Ç*ºó ¿Ï·á 2025-02-06 0
142319 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2025-02-06 1165
142318 Native language ÇÑ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2025-02-06 910
142317 Is a bucket list necessary? ±Ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-02-06 3
142316 When was the last time you attended a wedding? Tell me something... ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-06 956
142315 Homework ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2025-02-05 1243
142314 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-05 953
142313 social media ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-05 1019
142312 What kind of workmates do you want to work with? Why? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2025-02-05 985
142311 What¡¯s the most common accident you have at home? ÀÌ*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2025-02-05 3
142310 home work Àå*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-02-05 1035
142309 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-02-05 1
142308 No, I don¡¯t have stuffed toys until now. À¯*ºó ¿Ï·á 2025-02-05 977
142307 AKMU ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-02-05 1
142306 I did my homework.^^ ¿À*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-05 1053
142305 What¡¯s the most frustrating thing that happened to you recently? ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2025-02-05 896
142304 In what situation do you see yourself being speechless? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-05 748
142303 What are the differences between small and large families? °­*À² ¿Ï·á 2025-02-05 3
142302 Homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-05 1023

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04