¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

expectation in class and teacher

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¹Î
2025-02-12 762

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

First of all, I want to be a influent speaker of english, because if I go abroad, communication with others in english is important.
second, I need minimum 6.5 scores in IELTS test. In the test, I want to talk with no hesitation.
Third, when I talk in engish, my brain usually operates grammar. it makes me time delay,,, how can I solve it?

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Seung Min!
Thank you for your composition today.
Your expectations are noted.
Let's work together to achieve our goals.
Please review the corrections below.
Ask during the class if you have any questions.^^
~~ Teacher Sharon
First of all, I want to be a influent speaker of english, because if I go abroad, communication with others in english is important.
>> First of all, I want to be fluent in speaking in English because if I go abroad, communicating with others using English is important. 
second, I need minimum 6.5 scores in IELTS test. 
>> Second, I need a minimum score of 6.5 on the IELTS test. 
In the test, I want to talk with no hesitation.
>> During the test, I want to talk with no hesitation.
Third, when I talk in engish, my brain usually operates grammar. 
>> Third, when I speak in English, my brain usually analyzes grammar rules. 
it makes me time delay,,, 
>> It causes delay when I say something. 
how can I solve it?
>> How can I improve on this?
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
142721 How can we tell if someone is listening to us? ¼Û*ÀÚ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-25 1
142720 What\'s the most popular section of the hypermarket? Why? Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-25 632
142719 how can you develop a good habit? ÃÖ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-25 593
142718 homework ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2025-02-25 582
142717 Homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-25 580
142716 revenge ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-25 584
142715 What are the usual stuff in your classroom that you don\'t like?... Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-02-25 570
142714 What favor would bother you most ? ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-25 564
142713 Why did you choose this particular song? ³ë*ö ¿Ï·á 2025-02-25 564
142712 fashion ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-25 1
142711 2/24 Homework ±Ç*ºó ¿Ï·á 2025-02-25 1
142710 2025.02.25 homework! ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-25 671
142709 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2025-02-25 649
142708 script Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-25 606
142707 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-25 1
142706 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-24 2
142705 Technology and culture2 ¾î*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-24 1
142704 What makes a restaurant standout for you? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2025-02-24 634
142703 24.Feb.2025 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-24 0
142702 Do you think it\'s important for kids to choose early what they... ½Å*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2025-02-24 660

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04