¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

expectation in class and teacher

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¹Î
2025-02-12 754

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

First of all, I want to be a influent speaker of english, because if I go abroad, communication with others in english is important.
second, I need minimum 6.5 scores in IELTS test. In the test, I want to talk with no hesitation.
Third, when I talk in engish, my brain usually operates grammar. it makes me time delay,,, how can I solve it?

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Seung Min!
Thank you for your composition today.
Your expectations are noted.
Let's work together to achieve our goals.
Please review the corrections below.
Ask during the class if you have any questions.^^
~~ Teacher Sharon
First of all, I want to be a influent speaker of english, because if I go abroad, communication with others in english is important.
>> First of all, I want to be fluent in speaking in English because if I go abroad, communicating with others using English is important. 
second, I need minimum 6.5 scores in IELTS test. 
>> Second, I need a minimum score of 6.5 on the IELTS test. 
In the test, I want to talk with no hesitation.
>> During the test, I want to talk with no hesitation.
Third, when I talk in engish, my brain usually operates grammar. 
>> Third, when I speak in English, my brain usually analyzes grammar rules. 
it makes me time delay,,, 
>> It causes delay when I say something. 
how can I solve it?
>> How can I improve on this?
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
142339 2/5 HOMEWORK ±è*¼Ö ¿Ï·á 2025-02-06 2
142338 Do you think money can make people happy? Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-06 999
142337 Have you ever owed someone? How? ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-06 915
142336 River Flows In You ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-02-06 1
142335 homework~ (What are the last thing you did~?) Á¤*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-06 822
142334 What are effective ways to keep our minds sharp as we age? Do... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-06 804
142333 Why do many couples in Korea choose not to have children, even... ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-06 3
142332 I did my homework.🤗 ¿À*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-06 897
142331 my least favorite music genres ±è*·É ¿Ï·á 2025-02-06 1
142330 Homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-06 782
142329 What¡¯s your favorite memory with your siblings? ¼Û*ÀÚ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-06 2
142328 Homework & Question ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-06 864
142327 dairy ±è*³ë ¿Ï·á 2025-02-06 914
142326 a big house ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-06 1
142325 Have you ever been in a situation where you had to say no to a... ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2025-02-06 960
142324 Homework ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2025-02-06 680
142323 next lesson Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-06 972
142322 How do you feel about being Top 1 in your violin class? ³ë*ö ¿Ï·á 2025-02-06 965
142321 What makes a conversation interesting ? ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-06 751
142320 2/5 Homework ±Ç*ºó ¿Ï·á 2025-02-06 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04