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How do you tell off your daughters for things you want them to stop ?

작성자: 박*호
2025-02-13 1450

회원님의 영작문

I have been nagging my daughters very often.
I nagged them to study hard when they were in schools and am now nagging them about cleaning their rooms.
Those are really messy, so I sometimes clean their rooms myself.
And now I am worried about my eldest daughter's smoking.
Even if I told her to quit smoking countless times, she failed quitting smoking, so I scolded her harshly many times.
Now she is already an adult now, so it is not appropriate for me to scold her.
So I am going to give her a kind of incentive instead of scolding or admonishing.
My family and I shared our new year's resolutions earlier this year and at that time she let me know that quitting smoking is one of her new year's resolutions.
So I suggested her that if she succeeded in quitting smoking this year, I would give what she wants
She accepted my offer and told me that she wanted to live independently from me.
If she quits smoking this year, I plan to provide her with a home where she can live independently.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi Sun Ho^^
Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
I guess that's a good idea.
I really hope she succeeds in quitting smoking.
_T. SHAY^^
***
I have been nagging my daughters very often.
>>Correct
OR: I have been nagging my daughter about different things.
I nagged them to study hard when they were in schools and am now nagging them about cleaning their rooms.
>>I nagged them to study hard when they were in school and these days I nag them about cleaning their rooms.
Those are really messy, so I sometimes clean their rooms myself.
>>Their rooms are really messy, so I sometimes clean their rooms myself.
And now I am worried about my eldest daughter's smoking.
>>And now I am worried about my elder daughter's smoking.
Even if I told her to quit smoking countless times, she failed quitting smoking, so I scolded her harshly many times.
>>Correct
OR: I've already asked my daughter to quit smoking multiple times, but until now she hasn't successfully quit smoking.
Now she is already an adult now, so it is not appropriate for me to scold her.
>>Now she is already an adult, so it is not appropriate for me to scold her.
OR: She's an adult now, so it doesn't look right for me to scold her.
OR: She's no longer young to be scolded.
So I am going to give her a kind of incentive instead of scolding or admonishing.
>>So, I am going to give her a kind of incentive instead of scolding her or telling her off.
My family and I shared our new year's resolutions earlier this year and at that time she let me know that quitting smoking is one of her new year's resolutions.
>>Correct
OR: My daughters and I shared our new year's resolutions earlier this year and that's when I found out that quitting smoking is one of her resolutions.
So I suggested her that if she succeeded in quitting smoking this year, I would give what she wants
>>So I suggested to her that if she succeeded in quitting smoking this year, I would give what she wants.
OR: So, we made a deal. If she succeeded quitting smoking this year, I would give her what she wants.
She accepted my offer and told me that she wanted to live independently from me.
>>She accepted my offer and told me that she wanted to live independently.
OR: She accepted my offer and told me that she wanted to live separately.
If she quits smoking this year, I plan to provide her with a home where she can live independently.
>>Correct
OR: If she quits smoking this year, my plan is to provide her a home where she can live independently.
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