¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What are the advantages and disadvantages of having many cousins?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Â÷*Áø
2025-02-14 1149

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

First, advantages is more people play with me and disadvantages is loud, annoying and they are touch my things so could be breaking my things.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Here's another corrected composition, Yale! Many thanks for sending it. Please take a look at the few revisions and alternative expressions provided. See you soon! 


Cheers,
Jean~~

        



                    What are the advantages and disadvantages of having many cousins?


First, advantages is more people play with me and disadvantages is loud, annoying and 
they are touch my things so could be breaking my things.
>> One advantage is that I have more people to play with, whereas some advantages are, that they are loud, annoying, and touch or even break my things. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
141923 How do you deal with homesickness after moving to a new place? Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-12 2
141922 Page 35 ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-01-12 1
141921 What are some common mistakes people make when moving in? Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-12 1
141920 What is a good neighbor for you? Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-12 2
141919 real? ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-12 1511
141918 Do you think being a professional dancer would be a good job? Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-01-12 1248
141917 What\'s the most boring exercise one can do? Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-12 1712
141916 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-01-12 4
141915 The benefits of working on weekends. ¼Û*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-12 1634
141914 Who or what influenced you to love reading? ¼Û*ÀÚ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-12 1528
141913 Are there any disadvantages to using a smartphone too much? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2025-01-11 1525
141912 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-11 1
141911 homework ½Å*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2025-01-10 1911
141910 Music can control our emotions ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-01-10 4
141909 What is fashion for me? À¯*ºó ¿Ï·á 2025-01-10 1542
141908 interview script Àå*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-10 1
141907 interview script Àå*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-10 2
141906 interview script Àå*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-10 2
141905 interview script Àå*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-10 3
141904 Write about the topic: \"Staying Healthy and Active During... ³ë*ö ¿Ï·á 2025-01-10 1335

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04