¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

The homework of 13th Fab.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¶*È£
2025-02-14 1224

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Q : How do Koreans celebrate birthdays?

A : Most Koreans give a birthday present. Nowadays, many people give a gifticon instead of real gift because it is convenient to use. In my case, my family gather in the hometown and celebrate a birthday together.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Eddy,

Great job on your answer! You¡¯ve done a nice job explaining how birthdays are celebrated in Korea, and I love that you shared a bit about your own family tradition.

It¡¯s great that you mentioned how gifticons are becoming more common because they¡¯re so convenient. This is a good reflection of modern-day Korea, where technology plays a big role in daily life.

Your personal touch about how your family gathers in your hometown adds a warm and meaningful detail, showing that family is central to birthday celebrations.

One small suggestion to improve your answer would be to add a little more detail about the types of activities or food that might be involved in the celebration, since birthdays are often special in terms of food and customs in Korea. But overall, this is a lovely and clear answer!

Keep it up, you're doing great!

~Teacher Cathy

 

Most Koreans give a birthday present.

>>CORRECT

OR>>Most Koreans give birthday presents.

Nowadays, many people give a gifticon instead of real gift because it is convenient to use.

>>Nowadays, many people give a gifticon instead of a real gift because it is convenient to use.

In my case, my family gather in the hometown and celebrate a birthday together.

>>In my case, my family gathers in our hometown and celebrates birthdays together.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
143930 ¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-02 746
143929 homework ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-05-02 3
143928 Househusband ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-02 764
143927 . ±è*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-02 777
143926 . ±è*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-01 876
143925 Would you ever go backpacking through Europe? ¿©*Âù ¿Ï·á 2025-05-01 1
143924 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-05-01 2
143923 HOMEWORK FOR 04/25 Writing Task: What are some challenges people... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2025-05-01 2
143922 Do you think that holidays are now commercialized? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-01 2
143921 homework ÀÌ*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-01 729
143920 What animal would you like to have as a pet?Explain. Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-01 886
143919 What do you do if someone you trust asks you to do something... À±*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-01 0
143918 0430 IELTS writing Task2 homework ¼Û*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-01 0
143917 ¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-01 900
143916 fat ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-01 1
143915 ¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-01 772
143914 How has English affected your native language; have you noticed... ±Ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-05-01 2
143913 How would people know they have made the right choice? ¿©*Âù ¿Ï·á 2025-05-01 1
143912 How has English affected your native language; have you noticed... À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2025-04-30 0
143911 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-30 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04