¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Why did you stop going to church ?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*È£
2025-02-17 783

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Looking at your writing task today reminds me of my love story with my ex-wife.
My ex-wife was a catholic but I was an atheist.
When I met her and fell in love with her, I used to have a dating with her at catholic church.
And I was gradually interested in catholic because catholic wasn't only my lover's religion but also people who believed in catholic were very kind and considerate.
And then when I deceided to marry her, she asked me to be baptized and become a catholic, which was a condition of marrying her.
I accepted her requirment and was baptized after taking a 10-month preparatory catholic course but I was not a real catholic.
I liked people whom I met at the catholic church and the church atmosphere where it was very calm and solemn but I didn't believe in the church's doctrines.
After I got married, I tried to go to catholic church with my ex-wife every Sunday.
After my ex-wife left me, I sometimes go to church alone.
I still like catholic church people and atmosphere.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Sun Ho^^
Woah! I haven't expected that. 
Anyway, I'm glad to know how you met and the relationship that you had. 
Thank you for sharing something personal.
_T. SHAY^^
***

Looking at your writing task today reminds me of my love story with my ex-wife.
>>Correct
OR: The writing homework reminds me of my love story with my ex-wife.

My ex-wife was a catholic but I was an atheist.
>>My ex-wife was Catholic, but I was an atheist.
When I met her and fell in love with her, I used to have a dating with her at catholic church. 
>>When I met her and fell in love with her, I used to have a date with her at catholic church. 
And I was gradually interested in catholic because catholic wasn't only my lover's religion but also people who believed in catholic were very kind and considerate.
>>And I was gradually interested in Roman Catholicism not only because it was my lover's religion but also because people who believed in Roman Catholicism were very kind and considerate.
And then when I deceided to marry her, she asked me to be baptized and become a catholic, which was a condition of marrying her.
>>And then when I decided to marry her, she asked me to be baptized and become a Catholic, which was a condition of marrying her.
OR: In order to marry her, I had to be baptized and be a Catholic. 
I accepted her requirment and was baptized after taking a 10-month preparatory catholic course but I was not a real catholic.
>>I accepted her requirement and was baptized after taking a 10-month preparatory Catholic course, but I was not a real Catholic.
I liked people whom I met at the catholic church and the church atmosphere where it was very calm and solemn but I didn't believe in the church's doctrines.
>>I liked people whom I met at the catholic church and the church atmosphere was very calm and solemn, but I didn't believe in the church's doctrines.
OR: I liked the church atmosphere and the people I met in church; however, I wasn't a believer

After I got married, I tried to go to catholic church with my ex-wife every Sunday.
>>After I got married, I tried to go to a Catholic church with my ex-wife every Sunday.
After my ex-wife left me, I sometimes go to church alone.
>>Correct
OR: There were times when I tried to go to church alone when my ex-wife left me.

I still like catholic church people and atmosphere.
>>
I still like the Catholic church people and the atmosphere.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
142619 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-19 1
142618 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-19 0
142617 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-02-19 1
142616 If you had a different major in university, what could it be?... ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2025-02-19 893
142615 Something to do È«*Àº ¿Ï·á 2025-02-19 663
142614 Describe tulips. À¯*ºó ¿Ï·á 2025-02-19 713
142613 The homework for February 17th. Á¶*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-19 607
142612 Sleep is the best medicine for our health ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-02-19 3
142611 What are the biggest challenges facing each country\'s... ±Ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-02-19 3
142610 What are your thoughts on tall people becoming basketball... Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-02-19 662
142609 How have gender roles in Korea changed over the past few decades? °­*À² ¿Ï·á 2025-02-19 2
142608 What¡¯s the best beach to visit in Korea? ¼Û*ÀÚ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-19 3
142607 homework ÀÌ*µµ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-19 774
142606 Homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-19 822
142605 If you could compare your self to anyone, who would it be and... Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-19 751
142604 homework ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2025-02-19 780
142603 ±ÝÀÏ ¼ö¾÷ µÚ·Î ¿¬±â( 02/19 ¿¡¼­ 21ÀÏ·Î) ±è*¿ë ¿Ï·á 2025-02-19 854
142602 What\'s the biggest amount of money you lent or gave to someone... ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-19 718
142601 Can cancel culture be considered a form of bullying? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2025-02-19 676
142600 homework ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2025-02-19 919

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04