¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Everyone prefers to look younger

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÇÑ*¿ø
2025-02-18 1361

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

"Everyone prefers to look younger. And I think someone who manages their appearance well has a positive mindset. But being overly concerned with one's appearance is a sign of low self-esteem.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Thanks for doing your essay Ms. Rachel! Well done! Your knowledge of the dispute and the events surrounding it shows in your essay. It is clear that you understand the main points of contention, and you have discussed these in an easily understood way. Keep it up!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
>>>Everyone prefers to look younger.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 And I think someone who manages their appearance well has a positive mindset. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
But being overly concerned with one's appearance is a sign of low self-esteem.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
143705 why is animal cruelty a concern? ¿À*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-18 830
143704 0417 IELTS writing Task2 homework ¼Û*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-18 5
143703 What is one place in your city that holds special memories for... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-18 1043
143702 Do you ever think that some music is just noise? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-18 1294
143701 Tell me about the best and worst parts of your day. ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-18 1105
143700 Do you think public transport should be free for everyone? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-18 1122
143699 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-17 0
143698 What\'s the safest body of water? Why? Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-17 1136
143697 Where is the coldest place in the world? Write a bit about it. Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-17 1346
143696 I want to know these sentences are grammatically correct! °­*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-17 1399
143695 homework ÀÌ*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-17 1499
143694 Does buffet promote overconsumption? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-17 1422
143693 What is the safest mode of transport? ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-17 1233
143692 Homework for today ¾ö*¸° ¿Ï·á 2025-04-17 1
143691 What\\\'s more important to you when you travel - comfort and... ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2025-04-17 1395
143690 0416 IELTS writing Task 2 homework ¼Û*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-17 2
143689 What¡¯s the best way to stay calm when a customer is angry? À±*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-17 1
143688 sinkhole ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-17 1059
143687 2025.04.16 homework! ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-17 1181
143686 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2025-04-17 1207

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04