¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*µµ
2025-02-19 1170

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

ESSAY: Some people believe that nowadays too much money is being spent on weddings and birthdays. Why do you think it is happening? What can be done to improve the situation?

Because many people think quality is more important than truth.
People in the past put more importance on mental value than material value.
Even if I was short of money, I thought it would be enough if I had a lot of love, but now that thought has disappeared a lot.
So I think this situation happened.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Lee! Thanks for doing your homework.  Your argument is nice, although it could be enhanced by offering a more specific statement to provide a clear direction for the essay. 
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
Because many people think quality is more important than truth.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
People in the past put more importance on mental value than material value.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Even if I was short of money, I thought it would be enough if I had a lot of love, but now that thought has disappeared a lot.
>>> Even though I used to believe that love was enough, despite being short on money, that mindset has changed a lot now.
So I think this situation happened.
>>> So I think this situation happens.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
142537 What is something you are curious about? Why? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2025-02-15 1041
142536 Do you think having a bucket list is necessary? Why or why not? À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2025-02-15 0
142535 Do you think staying in touch with people regularly is... À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2025-02-14 0
142534 In your opinion, should younger generations continue old... À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2025-02-14 1
142533 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-14 1
142532 It is healthy. À¯*ºó ¿Ï·á 2025-02-14 1341
142531 What side that we should follow, theory of creation? Or... ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-02-14 3
142530 What kind of ideas do you consider to be \"great\"? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-14 1203
142529 The homework of 13th Fab. Á¶*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-14 1033
142528 Who do you want to compliment you when you do a good job? Why? Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-14 1139
142527 What are your New Year\'s goals? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-14 1057
142526 The most important attitude at work È«*Àº ¿Ï·á 2025-02-14 1055
142525 What traditions or activities do you associate with Christmas? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-14 1198
142524 What is the most meaningful way to celebrate the Christmas... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-14 889
142523 Homework ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2025-02-14 1065
142522 What surprised you most about childbirth? ¼Û*ÀÚ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-14 1
142521 10 feb2025 ±è*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2025-02-14 1218
142520 12feb2025 ±è*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2025-02-14 1044
142519 Homework & Question ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-14 963
142518 How do you feel after finishing all that cleaning? ³ë*ö ¿Ï·á 2025-02-14 907

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04