¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*µµ
2025-02-19 1294

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

ESSAY: Some people believe that nowadays too much money is being spent on weddings and birthdays. Why do you think it is happening? What can be done to improve the situation?

Because many people think quality is more important than truth.
People in the past put more importance on mental value than material value.
Even if I was short of money, I thought it would be enough if I had a lot of love, but now that thought has disappeared a lot.
So I think this situation happened.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Lee! Thanks for doing your homework.  Your argument is nice, although it could be enhanced by offering a more specific statement to provide a clear direction for the essay. 
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
Because many people think quality is more important than truth.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
People in the past put more importance on mental value than material value.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Even if I was short of money, I thought it would be enough if I had a lot of love, but now that thought has disappeared a lot.
>>> Even though I used to believe that love was enough, despite being short on money, that mindset has changed a lot now.
So I think this situation happened.
>>> So I think this situation happens.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
142208 Write about the most interesting summer camp you can think of. Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-01-30 1275
142207 How do you celebrate Seollal with your family? ÀÓ*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-30 1794
142206 Write about the first time you were on a plane. Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-01-30 1597
142205 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-01-30 1
142204 My introduction ½Å*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-30 3
142203 Write about your most recent dining experience. ¹Ú*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-01-30 1487
142202 nature ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-29 1
142201 Rice Terraces ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-29 1
142200 What\'s your ideal Korean New Year? Explain? Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-28 1472
142199 Do you think traditions should be preserved and maintained? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2025-01-27 2013
142198 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-27 1
142197 When something needs fixing or changing in your house, do you do... Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-27 0
142196 Homework ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2025-01-27 1519
142195 How can transportation options be convenient or inconvenient? Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-27 2
142194 What¡¯s your favorite place to visit downtown? Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-27 2
142193 My best dream is getting a laptop as my birthday gift from my... À¯*ºó ¿Ï·á 2025-01-27 1528
142192 My children ride ski the first time. Á¶*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-01-27 1365
142191 1/24 Homework ±Ç*ºó ¿Ï·á 2025-01-27 1
142190 What do you think of \"hand-me-down\" clothing? Will you wear... ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-27 1231
142189 The purpose of education ÇÑ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2025-01-27 1367

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04