¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*µµ
2025-02-19 1348

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

ESSAY: Some people believe that nowadays too much money is being spent on weddings and birthdays. Why do you think it is happening? What can be done to improve the situation?

Because many people think quality is more important than truth.
People in the past put more importance on mental value than material value.
Even if I was short of money, I thought it would be enough if I had a lot of love, but now that thought has disappeared a lot.
So I think this situation happened.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Lee! Thanks for doing your homework.  Your argument is nice, although it could be enhanced by offering a more specific statement to provide a clear direction for the essay. 
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
Because many people think quality is more important than truth.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
People in the past put more importance on mental value than material value.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Even if I was short of money, I thought it would be enough if I had a lot of love, but now that thought has disappeared a lot.
>>> Even though I used to believe that love was enough, despite being short on money, that mindset has changed a lot now.
So I think this situation happened.
>>> So I think this situation happens.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
141766 What is your new year resolution for 2025? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2025-01-04 1646
141765 Do you celebrate Seollal? ¼Û*ÀÚ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-04 1
141764 Happiness isn\'t choice. À¯*ºó ¿Ï·á 2025-01-03 1560
141763 I wanted to be a soccer player😊 ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-01-03 1
141762 What is your main New Year\'s resolusion this year? ¿À*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-03 1522
141761 Homework ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-03 1871
141760 Homework & Question ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-03 2030
141759 How did you feel when you first started learning English? Was it... ¹è*ºó ¿Ï·á 2025-01-03 1856
141758 30dec2024_homework ±è*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2025-01-03 1765
141757 03Dec2025_Homework ±è*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2025-01-03 1795
141756 Define what friendship means to you. ³ë*ö ¿Ï·á 2025-01-03 1633
141755 Day1 Homework ¹Ú*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-01-03 1670
141754 sort out ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-03 1
141753 How do you handle stress? Á¶*¸í ¿Ï·á 2025-01-03 4
141752 Korean wraps ÀÓ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-03 1858
141751 Do you think it\'s a good idea to write your goals down and tick... ÃÖ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-03 1653
141750 Whawhat do you enjoy most about learning English? ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2025-01-03 2553
141749 Page 25 ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-01-03 0
141748 Which is a better place to live, big cities or small towns? ¼Õ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-02 2120
141747 What are the advantages of going to a salon rather than a... Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-02 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04