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영작교정 게시판

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How important is patience for a violin class leader?

작성자: 노*철
2025-02-20 629

회원님의 영작문

Every community has an element that leaders need.
There is clearly a difference between large and small communities.
In a large communities, such as a country or a large company, the biggest factor is that leaders present a vision and present a dream to work.
Communication is more important than anything else in my small community.
What a leader needs most for that communication is patience.
In order to communicate, leaders should listen to the members rather than talking a lot.
If the members' opinions are different or the members' opinions and my opinions are different, what is needed at this time is patience.
If we talk to each other patiently rather than persuading them with words, we can produce good results even if we have different opinions.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hey David! Your response presents a well-structured and thoughtful perspective on leadership and communication. You emphasize patience as a key trait, which is a strong and insightful point. The flow of ideas is clear, though some sentences could be slightly refined for better clarity and grammatical accuracy. Overall, you did a great job expressing the importance of vision and active listening in leadership.

~ T. Lia

Every community has an element that leaders need.
>> CORRECT

There is clearly a difference between large and small communities.
>> CORRECT

In a large communities, such as a country or a large company, the biggest factor is that leaders present a vision and present a dream to work.
>> In large communities, such as a country or a large company, the biggest factor is that leaders present a vision and a dream to work toward.

Communication is more important than anything else in my small community.
>> CORRECT

What a leader needs most for that communication is patience.
>> CORRECT

In order to communicate, leaders should listen to the members rather than talking a lot.
>> In order to communicate, leaders should listen to the members rather than talk a lot.

If the members' opinions are different or the members' opinions and my opinions are different, what is needed at this time is patience.
>> If the members' opinions are different, or if their opinions differ from mine, what is needed at this time is patience.

If we talk to each other patiently rather than persuading them with words, we can produce good results even if we have different opinions.
>> If we talk to each other patiently rather than trying to persuade with words, we can achieve good results even if we have different opinions.

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