¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What form of exercise is the most exciting for you?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¹Î
2025-02-22 1257

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I like kind of anaerobic exercise.
when I lift up heavy dumbels, I can feel my muscle pain.
This pain will reach not right after but within 24 hours.
That feeling makes me exercise everyday despite being tired.
And do not forget to take high nutritions after gym.
This is because having a good food after exercise is a perfect exercise.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Seung Min!
I corrected grammar, word choice, and sentence structure for clarity and correctness. 
Look them over.
Ask questions if you have in class.
Keep trying!^^
~~ Teacher Sharon
I like kind of anaerobic exercise.
>> I like this kind of anaerobic exercise.
when I lift up heavy dumbels, I can feel my muscle pain.
>> When I lift heavy dumbbells, I can feel my muscles ache.
This pain will reach not right after but within 24 hours.
>> This pain does not appear immediately but usually within 24 hours.
That feeling makes me exercise everyday despite being tired.
>> That feeling makes me exercise every day despite being tired.
And do not forget to take high nutritions after gym.
>> I also do not forget to consume nutritious food after going to the gym.
This is because having a good food after exercise is a perfect exercise.
>> This is because eating well after exercise is an important part of a good workout.






¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
145319 The homework for 28th July. Á¶*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-29 138
145318 25.7.28 essay ±è*¼± ¿Ï·á 2025-07-29 5
145317 Homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-29 101
145316 Why do people procrastinate? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-29 1
145315 Homework ±Ç*°æ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-29 6
145314 What floor in an apartment would be the best to live in? Why do... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-07-29 136
145313 pets ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-29 1
145312 How do borrowing habits differ across cultures or generations? ¿©*Âù ¿Ï·á 2025-07-29 0
145311 Where is your favorite restaurant? What makes it your favorite? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2025-07-28 114
145310 07/28 Homework ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-28 143
145309 Homework ¹Ú*¸° ¿Ï·á 2025-07-28 194
145308 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-07-28 1
145307 ¤Ó¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-28 88
145306 Thankyou ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-07-28 1
145305 ¤Ó¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-28 118
145304 I used all my vacation on entrance of science high school ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-07-28 1
145303 What are the risks of having a side hustle while working... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2025-07-28 110
145302 Homework ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-28 174
145301 why exams are important È«*±â ¿Ï·á 2025-07-28 138
145300 Hi , Caitlyn ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2025-07-28 96

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04