¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What form of exercise is the most exciting for you?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¹Î
2025-02-22 1112

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I like kind of anaerobic exercise.
when I lift up heavy dumbels, I can feel my muscle pain.
This pain will reach not right after but within 24 hours.
That feeling makes me exercise everyday despite being tired.
And do not forget to take high nutritions after gym.
This is because having a good food after exercise is a perfect exercise.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Seung Min!
I corrected grammar, word choice, and sentence structure for clarity and correctness. 
Look them over.
Ask questions if you have in class.
Keep trying!^^
~~ Teacher Sharon
I like kind of anaerobic exercise.
>> I like this kind of anaerobic exercise.
when I lift up heavy dumbels, I can feel my muscle pain.
>> When I lift heavy dumbbells, I can feel my muscles ache.
This pain will reach not right after but within 24 hours.
>> This pain does not appear immediately but usually within 24 hours.
That feeling makes me exercise everyday despite being tired.
>> That feeling makes me exercise every day despite being tired.
And do not forget to take high nutritions after gym.
>> I also do not forget to consume nutritious food after going to the gym.
This is because having a good food after exercise is a perfect exercise.
>> This is because eating well after exercise is an important part of a good workout.






¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
141324 Have you ever had to step in and help during a difficult time... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-04 1948
141323 How much time do you spend outdoors every week? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-04 1803
141322 Why is it important to follow guidelines and principles? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-04 1725
141321 When was the last time you felt proud of yourself? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-04 1638
141320 Homework ³ë*ö ¿Ï·á 2024-12-04 1556
141319 02Dec2024_Homework ±è*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-12-04 1904
141318 Please change difficult words to easy words and correct them so... ÀÌ*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-04 1841
141317 Please change difficult words to easy words and correct them so... ÀÌ*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-04 1989
141316 Please change difficult words to easy words and correct them so... ÀÌ*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-04 2073
141315 Please change difficult words to easy words and correct them so... ÀÌ*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-04 1801
141314 If your life were made into a movie, who would play you? ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-12-04 2499
141313 avoid visiting tourists traps ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-04 2036
141312 Where do you think is the best retirement place in your country? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-12-04 3
141311 Homework ¿À*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-12-04 0
141310 homework ½Å*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-12-03 1790
141309 What are your thoughts on the bus stations of your country? Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-03 2062
141308 How does a young boy like you take care of your skin? Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-12-03 1958
141307 Which is more effective in expressing how you feel: Words or... Àå*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-03 3
141306 Would you rather be a leader or a follower? Àå*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-03 2
141305 What do you usually order in your favorite restaurant? Àå*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-03 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04