¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What form of exercise is the most exciting for you?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¹Î
2025-02-22 1114

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I like kind of anaerobic exercise.
when I lift up heavy dumbels, I can feel my muscle pain.
This pain will reach not right after but within 24 hours.
That feeling makes me exercise everyday despite being tired.
And do not forget to take high nutritions after gym.
This is because having a good food after exercise is a perfect exercise.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Seung Min!
I corrected grammar, word choice, and sentence structure for clarity and correctness. 
Look them over.
Ask questions if you have in class.
Keep trying!^^
~~ Teacher Sharon
I like kind of anaerobic exercise.
>> I like this kind of anaerobic exercise.
when I lift up heavy dumbels, I can feel my muscle pain.
>> When I lift heavy dumbbells, I can feel my muscles ache.
This pain will reach not right after but within 24 hours.
>> This pain does not appear immediately but usually within 24 hours.
That feeling makes me exercise everyday despite being tired.
>> That feeling makes me exercise every day despite being tired.
And do not forget to take high nutritions after gym.
>> I also do not forget to consume nutritious food after going to the gym.
This is because having a good food after exercise is a perfect exercise.
>> This is because eating well after exercise is an important part of a good workout.






¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
144348 0529 IELTS writing Task2 homework ¼Û*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-29 0
144347 earlier ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-29 1
144346 Meeting new person ±Ç*°æ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-29 2
144345 brand coffee ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-29 0
144344 breakfast ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-29 0
144343 my day ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-29 0
144342 ¼÷Á¦ ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-29 677
144341 How can a company encourage better attendance without being too... À±*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-29 0
144340 Homework ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2025-05-29 697
144339 Why is it important to follow company policies when dealing with... À±*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-29 0
144338 How can employees make customers feel welcome? À±*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-29 0
144337 ¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-29 602
144336 Why do you want to work for us? (What can you bring to our... ¿À*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2025-05-29 2
144335 . ±è*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-29 1
144334 . ±è*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-28 1
144333 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-05-28 2
144332 Which do you prefer: more money or increased popularity? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-28 660
144331 ¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-28 611
144330 Do you enjoy your birthdays? ¿©*Âù ¿Ï·á 2025-05-28 0
144329 ¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-28 709

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04