¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*µµ
2025-02-26 1179

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think studying international news is a great thing. This is because by studying international news, we can know the international trend and make the right choices accordingly.
However, there are some people who do not think so. What we learn at school is basic. In other words, we learn the things that people need to live. Examples are math, science, society, and history. We can become better people by learning these basic studies.
There is nothing international about these basic studies. Rather, there are people who think that it can confuse students.
I disagree with that. International studies are necessary, and as I mentioned earlier, it is essential to read the flow well and make good choices.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Lee~!^^ You did an excellent job establishing the context and clearly outlining the central theme of your essay. By presenting a thoughtful opening, you set a strong foundation for the argument that follows, making it easy for the reader to understand the direction of your analysis. The way you framed the issue not only engages but also encourages a deeper exploration of the topic in the body of the essay.
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
I think studying international news is a great thing.
>>>CORRECT~!^^
 This is because by studying international news, we can know the international trend and make the right choices accordingly.
>>>CORRECT~!^^
However, there are some people who do not think so.
>>>CORRECT~!^^
 What we learn at school is basic. 
>>>CORRECT~!^^
In other words, we learn the things that people need to live. 
>>>CORRECT~!^^
Examples are math, science, society, and history. 
>>>CORRECT~!^^
We can become better people by learning these basic studies.
>>>CORRECT~!^^
There is nothing international about these basic studies. 
>>>CORRECT~!^^
Rather, there are people who think that it can confuse students.
>>>CORRECT~!^^
I disagree with that. International studies are necessary, and as I mentioned earlier, it is essential to read the flow well and make good choices.
>>>CORRECT~!^^
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
142002 What activity do you want to squeeze into your routine? ¹Ú*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-01-16 1443
142001 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-01-15 2
142000 What is the best thing about your job? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2025-01-15 1652
141999 What¡¯s something you¡¯ve been meaning to buy but haven¡¯t... ¿À*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-15 1265
141998 June_homework ¾î*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-15 1
141997 Do you have friends from a culture or country different from... ½Å*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2025-01-15 1445
141996 Homework ½Å*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2025-01-15 1444
141995 I don\'t want to be a firefighter. À¯*ºó ¿Ï·á 2025-01-15 1256
141994 I always remind myself the Three things ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-01-15 2
141993 The homework of 14th Jan. Á¶*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-15 1470
141992 What¡¯s the most memorable family gathering you¡¯ve attended? ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2025-01-15 2011
141991 01/15 homework ±Ç*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2025-01-15 1362
141990 Train ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-15 1
141989 Is there any movie that you saw that you didn\'t like at all? ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-15 1299
141988 What first inspired your passion for playing the violin? ³ë*ö ¿Ï·á 2025-01-15 1645
141987 What qualities do you admire most in your son? ¿À*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-15 1443
141986 What is a happy memory from your childhood with your family? ¼Û*ÀÚ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-15 2
141985 Homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-15 1376
141984 smartphone and social interaction . ÇÑ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2025-01-15 1345
141983 Homework 7 ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2025-01-15 1978

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04