¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*´Ô
2025-02-27 710

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

The failure of marriage occurs between two people not one.
So woman can chose their life among many kind of marriage methods.
My life is not belong other's life although they are my family.
Broken marriage is just accident.
So woman have to be independent from their husband and children.
They need to do something which is kind of hobby,enjoyment and studying during the marriage.
We shouldn't think I sacrificed for someone.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Ms. Sunny!
I will not say much here because you are more experienced than I am. I guess I would just have to learn from you and the married couples that surround me. Thank you for sharing your thoughts!
Aki~

The failure of marriage occurs between two people, not one.
>>> CORRECT!

So woman can chose their life among many kind of marriage methods.
>>> So a woman can choose their life among many kinds of marriage methods.

My life is not belong other's life although they are my family.
>>> My life does not belong to other's life although they are my family.

Broken marriage is just accident.
>>>  A broken marriage is just an accident.

So woman have to be independent from their husband and children.
>>> So a woman has to be independent from their husband and children.

They need to do something which is kind of hobby,enjoyment and studying during the marriage.
>>> They need to do something which is a kind of hobby, enjoyment, and studying during the marriage.

We shouldn't think I sacrificed for someone.
>>> We shouldn't think to sacrificed for someone.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
142254 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-03 1
142253 Homework & Question ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-03 1032
142252 What was the hardest favor that someone asked you? ÀÓ*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-03 1494
142251 What is your ideal workplace? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2025-02-03 1331
142250 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-02-03 1
142249 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-03 0
142248 The effective ways to handle data: AI ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-02-03 1
142247 Which part of getting old scares you most? ¼­*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-03 1
142246 What regulations do you think countries should have to make a... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2025-02-03 909
142245 International news ÇÑ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2025-02-03 1338
142244 Are banks the best place to keep your money in? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-03 1297
142243 Homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-03 990
142242 Homework ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2025-02-03 1366
142241 What are the things you expect from the class ? ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-03 1372
142240 What¡¯s a habit you have that you think might bother others? ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2025-02-03 1262
142239 1/27 homework ±Ç*ºó ¿Ï·á 2025-02-03 0
142238 It¡¯s showing day. Á¶*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-02-03 2
142237 Homework & Question ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-02 1214
142236 What did you enjoy the most about Seollal this year? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2025-02-02 1109
142235 Homework ÀÌ*µµ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-02 1282

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04