¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think parties are fun even without alcohol? Why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ³ë*ö
2025-02-27 897

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

When I had dinner meetings with my staffs, I had several meetings with their husbands too.
At that time, a staff's husband complained to his wife before the meeting.
"We have to drink if we are going to get together and talk. How can we talk without drinking?"
However, after the meeting, he told his wife that he found out that men were able to talk well without drinking.
When people drink alcohol, their judgment becomes blurred and they follow the party atmosphere.
Many men's mistakes happen in the atmosphere of drinking.
Rather, if we talk while drinking coffee, we can organize and deliver our honest stories, listen to others better, and eventually get to know each other better.
We can talk and laugh together while listening to music.
What a party it is?

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi David, you did an excellent job of clearly expressing your ideas! You made a powerful point about drinking culture and social relationships in your response. For more fluid wording and natural viewpoints, I made a few adjustments. Overall, it was impressive. Keep it up!

~ T. Lia

When I had dinner meetings with my staffs, I had several meetings with their husbands too.
>> When I had dinner meetings with my staff, I also had several meetings with their husbands.


At that time, a staff's husband complained to his wife before the meeting.
>> At that time, one of my staff member¡¯s husbands complained to his wife before the meeting.


"We have to drink if we are going to get together and talk. How can we talk without drinking?"
>> CORRECT


However, after the meeting, he told his wife that he found out that men were able to talk well without drinking.
>> However, after the meeting, he told his wife that he realized men could have meaningful conversations without drinking.


When people drink alcohol, their judgment becomes blurred and they follow the party atmosphere.
>> When people drink alcohol, their judgment becomes impaired, and they tend to follow the party atmosphere.


Many men's mistakes happen in the atmosphere of drinking.
>> Many mistakes made by men occur in drinking environments.


Rather, if we talk while drinking coffee, we can organize and deliver our honest stories, listen to others better, and eventually get to know each other better.
>> Instead, if we talk over coffee, we can express our thoughts more clearly, listen to others better, and ultimately get to know each other more deeply.


We can talk and laugh together while listening to music.
>> CORRECT


What a party it is?
>> What a party it is! 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
142149 homework ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2025-01-23 1678
142148 I\'m proud of myself for still living well. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2025-01-23 1318
142147 How significant is it for a country to be an ally of a country? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2025-01-23 1603
142146 That can\'t be right. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2025-01-23 1887
142145 Because they don\'t think it\'s a dangerous thing. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2025-01-23 1311
142144 I think it is important to be able to quickly grasp other... À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2025-01-23 1508
142143 What was a typical day like for you growing up? ¼Û*ÀÚ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-23 1
142142 1/22 Homework ±Ç*ºó ¿Ï·á 2025-01-23 3
142141 Homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-23 1583
142140 What would you do if you had more free time? ÇÑ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-23 1593
142139 What strategies do you use to prioritize tasks? ³ë*ö ¿Ï·á 2025-01-23 1663
142138 Essay - Part2 ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-01-23 2
142137 Essay - Part1 ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-01-23 1
142136 Why I forggot your call....sorry ÃÖ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-23 1429
142135 What¡¯s the funniest thing that¡¯s ever happened to you while... ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2025-01-23 1466
142134 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2025-01-23 1387
142133 Giving money to young people ÇÑ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2025-01-23 1552
142132 The best gift for yongsters is to spend time together. ÀÌ*Çü ¿Ï·á 2025-01-23 1367
142131 How does Korean perceive political discussion? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2025-01-23 1415
142130 What kind of a leader makes a good leader? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2025-01-23 1496

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04