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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
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homework

작성자: 김*우
2025-03-05 824

회원님의 영작문

Hi, how was your day? My day was somewhat busy. My wife and I took Megan to her elementary school. It was the first time to go to the elementary school for my kids by walk. I could see many small people inside the school. They looked so cute. After that, we went to a brunch restaurant and had good food with coffee. After meal, we went to a hair shop to cut my hair. It was the first time to get there while my wife visited there many times; I decided to change the hairshop because of my wife's recommendation. The hair designer had a really great skill and looked so professional when it comes to the explanation of hair management at home. I smelled a strong smoke odor on his fingers though. In addition, I met the famous entertainer "Hyeon-young". I asked her if I could shake hands with her and I did it after her agreement. In the clinic, my brain was almost popped up. I had to discuss about new interior with my managers and company staff. And something about staff happened suddenly. See y

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Good morning, Dr. Kim!

I had a relaxing day yesterday. I watched "Anora" the movie which won the Oscars and it was fun. It is Rated R. 

Wednesdays are very good days for you and your family. As days are shifting to warmer temperatures and your kids are growing so quickly, sending them to school are immeasurable moments of parenthood you could do to see them safely entering school. In a few years time, they would not even want you bring them there. You will miss these moments a few years from now. Thus, spending time with equanimity will be your usual practice as time goes by,

In class today, I missed the part of you meeting Hyeon Young. Were you star stuck? Being with a celebraity is a different kind of energy especially when we grew up watching and admiring them. After all, they are also human beings just like us who need haircut some time. That salon is for the famous. Go there often. ^^ As for the smoke on the hair artist's hand, that must be terrible. He should wash his hand at least.

Here on your composition, I have seen just very few patterns that needed suggestion. Stay cautious  with your adverb placements as well as your spelling. You did a great job!

See you soon.

-T. Donna~

Hi, how was your day? My day was somewhat busy. My wife and I took Megan to her elementary school. It was the first time to go to the elementary school for my kids by walk. I could see many small people inside the school. They looked so cute. After that, we went to a brunch restaurant and had good food with coffee. 
>> Hi, how was your day? My day was somewhat busy. My wife and I took Megan to her elementary school. It was the first time to go to the elementary school for my kids (by walking/ on foot). I could see many small people inside the school. They looked so cute. After that, we went to a brunch restaurant and had good food with coffee. Very good sentences!

After meal, we went to a hair shop to cut my hair. It was the first time to get there while my wife visited there many times; I decided to change the hairshop because of my wife's recommendation. The hair designer had a really great skill and looked so professional when it comes to the explanation of hair management at home. I smelled a strong smoke odor on his fingers though. In addition, I met the famous entertainer "Hyeon-young". 
>> After meal, we went to a hair shop to cut my hair. It was the first time to get there while my wife visited there many times. I decided to change the hair shop because of my wife's recommendation. The hair designer had a really great skill and looked so professional when it comes to the explanation of hair management at home. I smelled a strong smoke odor on his fingers though. In addition, I met the famous entertainer "Hyeon-young". Very good sentences!

I asked her if I could shake hands with her and I did it after her agreement. In the clinic, my brain was almost popped up. I had to discuss about new interior with my managers and company staff. And something about staff happened suddenly. See you.
>> I asked her if I could shake hands with her and I did it after her agreement. In the clinic, my brain almost popped up. I had to discuss about the new interior with my managers and company staff. Further, something about the staff happened suddenly. See you.

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