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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

What was the last piece of good news you heard ?

작성자: 박*호
2025-03-06 533

회원님의 영작문

These days, I am very interested in my daughters' happiness and investing in American stocks.
To be honest, the news I want to hear most right now is the surge in American stocks. I am investing a large amount of money in American stocks, and if I make a profit, I will use it for my daughters. but The surge of U.S stocks seems to take more time and I will wait until then.
Next, speaking about my daughters, I don't worry about my elder daughter becasue she is very healthy and is doing well as a nurse.
But my younger daughter is so weak that I always worry about her. she is so introverted that she doesn't like making friends and going out and prefers to stay home alone. so I have been encouraging her to exercise but she hasn't.
But recently, I was so happy to hear from my elder daughter that she finally started Pilates.
I know that Pilates is a type of yoga and is very popular with young Korean women.
I hope she keeps doing Pilates and that it makes her healthy and outgoing.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi, Soon Ho^^
It's good to know that you really care about your daughters' future. 
Thank you for sharing.
_T. SHAY^^
***
These days, I am very interested in my daughters' happiness and investing in American stocks.
>>Correct
OR: These days I am interested in two things - my daughters' happiness and the American stocks.
To be honest, the news I want to hear most right now is the surge in American stocks. 
>>To be honest, the news I want to hear the most right now is the surge in American stocks.
I am investing a large amount of money in American stocks, and if I make a profit, I will use it for my daughters. 
>>Correct
OR: I am investing a large amount of money in American stocks, and I am doing it for my daughters' future.
but The surge of U.S stocks seems to take more time and I will wait until then.
>>But the surge of U.S stocks seems to take more time, so I need to keep waiting until then.
Next, speaking about my daughters, I don't worry about my elder daughter becasue she is very healthy and is doing well as a nurse.
>>Next, speaking of my daughters, I don't worry about my elder daughter because she is very healthy and is doing well as a nurse.
But my younger daughter is so weak that I always worry about her. 
>>Correct
OR: But my younger daughter is quite the opposite, so I always worry about her.
she is so introverted that she doesn't like making friends and going out and prefers to stay home alone. 
>>She is so introverted that she doesn't like making friends or going out and prefers to stay at home alone.
OR: She is an introvert who doesn't like going out to meet people and prefers to stay at home by herself.
so I have been encouraging her to exercise but she hasn't.
>>So, I have been encouraging her to exercise, but she hasn't.
But recently, I was so happy to hear from my elder daughter that she finally started Pilates.
>>Correct
OR: But recently, my elder daughter told me that she started doing Pilates which made me happy.
I know that Pilates is a type of yoga and is very popular with young Korean women.
>>I know that Pilates is a type of yoga and is very popular among young Korean women.
I hope she keeps doing Pilates and that it makes her healthy and outgoing.
>>I hope she continues doing Pilates. And hopefully it makes her healthy and outgoing.

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