¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What are your thoughts on power interruptions?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Â÷*Áø
2025-03-11 853

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

My thoughts power interruptions is scary because the power interruptions is dark so it is scary power interruption in my school four years ago.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Here's your corrected composition, Yale!  Many thanks for sending it. Please take a look at the few revisions and alternative expressions provided.   


Cheers,
Jean~~



        

                          What are your thoughts on power interruptions?



My thoughts power interruptions is scary because the power interruptions is dark so it is scary power interruption in my school four years ago.
>> I think power interruptions are scary because it becomes dark without electricity. For example, there was a power interruption four years ago in my school and I was scared. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
141656 Do you think dreams have any meaning? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-24 2046
141655 Homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-24 1486
141654 Review ±è*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-12-24 2
141653 I will submit my English writing assignments by re-solving what... ±è*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-12-24 2
141652 Do you think convenience stores should offer healthier food... ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-12-24 1570
141651 Ãß°¡ ¹®Á¦ ±è*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-12-24 1917
141650 Homework & Question ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-24 1932
141649 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-24 0
141648 What is included in your \"Bucket List\" ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-24 1646
141647 What might happen if you don¡¯t use any phones in a day, week,... ÇÑ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-23 1611
141646 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-12-23 1
141645 What do you like most about your room? Why? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-12-23 2032
141644 Why don¡¯t governments ban smoking if it causes so many health... ¼Û*ÀÚ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-23 2
141643 Home work ½Å*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-12-23 1716
141642 Homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-23 1693
141641 How can we educate others about environmental issues? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-23 1332
141640 Have you ever suffered from insomnia? If so, how severe was it,... ¼Û*ÀÚ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-23 2
141639 [Writing Exercise] Kindly explain the quotation in 3 to 5... ¼Û*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-23 0
141638 John Shirley said: \"Weekends are a bit like rainbows; they look... ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-23 1
141637 Homework : The Best Way to Manage Time Efficiently ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-23 1723

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04