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reasons of work-life balance and how to have better life

작성자: 어*주
2025-03-13 840

회원님의 영작문

Nowadays, pursuing work-life-balanced lifestyle has become very trendy. It seems that there are several reasons for this trend and both governments and individuals are responsible for achieving better quality of life.

To begin with, this phenomenon is likely to caused by following reasons. First of all, in hectic seciety, people have been suffered from a huge amount of work, which lead to mental problems such as anxiety and depression. In general, workers are required to compte with peers and to show better performance. Moreover, people's mind has changed a lot. working hard does not come first anymore, as they believe having a quality and happy life is more essential. Especially for young generation, they prefer to spend time on themselves rather than dedicate to company.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi June!
Let's work hard today.
Let's get you ready for your exam tomorrow.^^
~~ Teacher Sharon
Nowadays, pursuing work-life-balanced lifestyle has become very trendy. 
>> Nowadays, pursuing a work-life-balanced lifestyle has become very trendy.
It seems that there are several reasons for this trend and both governments and individuals are responsible for achieving better quality of life.
>> It seems that there are several reasons for this trend, and both governments and individuals are responsible for achieving a better quality of life.
To begin with, this phenomenon is likely to caused by following reasons. 
>> To begin with, this phenomenon is likely caused by the following reasons.
First of all, in hectic seciety, people have been suffered from a huge amount of work, which lead to mental problems such as anxiety and depression. 
>> First of all, in a hectic society, people have suffered from a huge amount of work, which leads to mental problems such as anxiety and depression.
In general, workers are required to compte with peers and to show better performance. 
>> In general, workers are required to compete with peers and show better performance.
Moreover, people's mind has changed a lot. 
>> Moreover, people's mindset has changed a lot. 
working hard does not come first anymore, as they believe having a quality and happy life is more essential. 
>> Working hard does not come first anymore, as they believe having a quality and happy life is more essential.
Especially for young generation, they prefer to spend time on themselves rather than dedicate to company.
>> Especially for the younger generation, they prefer to spend time on themselves rather than dedicate their lives to a company.


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