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작성자: 김*인
2025-03-17 646

회원님의 영작문

I do online shopping but I don't do it that often because I prefer to buy things after I confirmed them in offline.
I buy things in online when quality of the product is guaranteed or when I don't have to consider the quality. Therefore, my online shopping is far from enjoyment but close to getting requirements.
As an example of the former ones are products from certain brand or things that I bought before. For example, ear covers of my head phone are expendable cause its leather easily run down and I have to change them frequently. In this case I buy spare ear cover from the brand of headphone and also I used it before, so it's more convenient to buy them from online store.
As an example of the latter ones are the things that quality doesn't matter to me. For instance, note books are the items that I don't consider the qualities. The only reason why I'm buying notebooks is because I want product that papers are bundled up, so that there's no need to worry about losing a few pages.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello, Ms. WooIn! It's interesting how you categorize your purchases based on quality considerations. It sounds like you approach online shopping with a very practical mindset, focusing mainly on efficiency and necessity rather than enjoyment. Thank you for sharing!
-T. Sonny
I do online shopping but I don't do it that often because I prefer to buy things after I confirmed them in offline.
>>I do online shopping, but I don't do it that often because I prefer to buy things after I’ve confirmed them offline.
I buy things in online when quality of the product is guaranteed or when I don't have to consider the quality. 
>>I buy things online when the quality of the product is guaranteed or when I don't need to worry about quality.
Therefore, my online shopping is far from enjoyment but close to getting requirements.
>>Therefore, my online shopping is more about necessity than enjoyment.
As an example of the former ones are products from certain brand or things that I bought before. 
>>An example of the former would be products from certain brands or things I’ve bought before.
For example, ear covers of my head phone are expendable cause its leather easily run down and I have to change them frequently. 
>>For example, the ear covers on my headphones are expendable because their leather easily wears out, and I have to change them frequently.
In this case I buy spare ear cover from the brand of headphone and also I used it before, so it's more convenient to buy them from online store.
>>In this case, I buy spare ear covers from the headphone brand, and since I’ve used them before, it’s more convenient to buy them from an online store.
As an example of the latter ones are the things that quality doesn't matter to me. 
>>An example of the latter would be items where quality doesn't matter to me.
For instance, note books are the items that I don't consider the qualities. 
>>For instance, notebooks are items I don’t consider the quality.
The only reason why I'm buying notebooks is because I want product that papers are bundled up, so that there's no need to worry about losing a few pages.
>>The only reason I buy notebooks is that I want a product where the pages are bound together, so I don’t have to worry about losing pages.
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