무료 레벨테스트 받고 강사평가 남기면 1,OOO원 쿠폰 즉시 적립!

혹시 사이트에선 찾지 못한 궁금한 점이 있으세요?
남겨주신 이메일을 통해 답변 드리겠습니다.

문의하신 내용이 문자로 발송되오니
연락처를 남겨주세요.
업무시간 월~금 오전9시~오후6시
(점심시간 낮12시~오후1시)

영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Why do you think people should/shouldn\'t jave hobbies ?

작성자: 박*호
2025-03-18 477

회원님의 영작문

I think everyone has their own hobby. whatever it is that gives people pleasure is a hobby.
In my case, riding a bike and playing golf in my free time, especially weekends are my hobbies.And I guess that watching a movie while eating snacks and staring at the window watching the raindrops(you said oneday that you enjoy those) might to be your hobbies.
I know that a hobby is something you do for fun when you’re not working. On the other hand, a job is something you do for a living.
So in my case, I don’t usually have fun when I’m working.
On the other hand, when I ride my bike along the river on the weekends, I feel really good.
Therefore, I think people should work hard at work to make money, but in their free time, they should also do hobbies for their physical and mental health.

※ Oh, I see.
I'm very sorry that I couldn't review the class in the morning.
Can you record the class tomorrow?

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi, Soon Ho^^
Thank you for your answer.
I think you didn't answer the question though. ^^
It's like this: (the question is "why")
I think people should have hobbies because life would be boring if it's only about working and studying. 
After the tiring day in school or at work, people need to do other things to be able to relieve their stress and relax.
And having hobbies is a good way to do that. 
By the way, yes I think I can record the class tomorrow.
_T. SHAY^^
***
I think everyone has their own hobby. 
>>Correct
OR: I think we all have hobbies.
whatever it is that gives people pleasure is a hobby.
>>Whatever it is that gives people pleasure is a hobby.
OR: Anything that people enjoy doing and are interested in is their hobby.
In my case, riding a bike and playing golf in my free time, especially weekends are my hobbies.
>>In my case, riding a bike and playing golf in my free time, especially during weekends are my hobbies.
And I guess that watching a movie while eating snacks and staring at the window watching the raindrops(you said oneday that you enjoy those) might to be your hobbies.
>>Correct
OR: And I guess watching a movie while eating snacks and staring at the window when it's raining might be your hobbies. 
I know that a hobby is something you do for fun when you’re not working. 
>>Correct
OR: I know that a hobby is something you do to enjoy your free time. 
On the other hand, a job is something you do for a living.
>>Correct
OR: On the other hand, a job is something you do to earn money.
So in my case, I don’t usually have fun when I’m working.
>>Correct
OR: So in my case, I am usually serious when I'm working.
On the other hand, when I ride my bike along the river on the weekends, I feel really good.
>>Correct
OR: On the other hand, riding a bike along the river on the weekends make me feel good.
Therefore, I think people should work hard at work to make money, but in their free time, they should also do hobbies for their physical and mental health.
>>Therefore, I think people should work hard to make money, but in their free time, they should also do some hobbies for their physical and mental health.

※ Oh, I see.
I'm very sorry that I couldn't review the class in the morning.
Can you record the class tomorrow?
번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
143675 opic questions 석*현 완료 2025-04-16 4
143674 Yes, I love butterflies. 유*빈 완료 2025-04-16 156
143673 Have you ever experienced burnout from work? How did you handle... 윤*인 완료 2025-04-16 1
143672 Why do you think some people are afraid of the hospital? 김*운 완료 2025-04-16 184
143671 homework 이*아 완료 2025-04-16 108
143670 0415 IELTS writing Task 2 homework 송*유 완료 2025-04-16 1
143669 What is the implication of having an aging population? 조*명 완료 2025-04-16 122
143668 What would happen if everyone in the world spoke the same... 조*명 완료 2025-04-16 165
143667 Homework for today 엄*린 완료 2025-04-16 145
143666 When do you drink coffee? Do you drink it at the same time every... 임*미 완료 2025-04-16 124
143665 IELTS SPEAKING 6 전*주 완료 2025-04-16 0
143664 IELTS SPEAKING 5 전*주 완료 2025-04-16 1
143663 wildfire 민*정 완료 2025-04-16 0
143662 typhoon 민*정 완료 2025-04-16 0
143661 What would you change about your childhood? 권*지 완료 2025-04-16 1
143660 Differences and similarities between Western and Asian people 한*원 완료 2025-04-16 121
143659 You mentioned that if you had a child, you would want him/her to... 권*지 완료 2025-04-16 0
143658 The most popular festival 양*연 완료 2025-04-16 125
143657 Homework 김*님 완료 2025-04-16 195
143656 Do you think people should always return a favor? Why or why not? 윤*원 완료 2025-04-15 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

와이즈에듀케이션아이(주) 사이트명: 파워잉글리쉬 대표이사 전상현
사업자등록번호: 217-81-44736 통신판매신고번호: 2014-서울도봉-0233호
서울본사: 서울시 노원구 한글비석로 245 두타빌 B동 7층 713호
대표번호 1688-8672 개인정보관리 책임자: 안희영 [powerenglish@pweng.net]