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Why do you think people should/shouldn\'t jave hobbies ?

작성자: 박*호
2025-03-18 731

회원님의 영작문

I think everyone has their own hobby. whatever it is that gives people pleasure is a hobby.
In my case, riding a bike and playing golf in my free time, especially weekends are my hobbies.And I guess that watching a movie while eating snacks and staring at the window watching the raindrops(you said oneday that you enjoy those) might to be your hobbies.
I know that a hobby is something you do for fun when you’re not working. On the other hand, a job is something you do for a living.
So in my case, I don’t usually have fun when I’m working.
On the other hand, when I ride my bike along the river on the weekends, I feel really good.
Therefore, I think people should work hard at work to make money, but in their free time, they should also do hobbies for their physical and mental health.

※ Oh, I see.
I'm very sorry that I couldn't review the class in the morning.
Can you record the class tomorrow?

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi, Soon Ho^^
Thank you for your answer.
I think you didn't answer the question though. ^^
It's like this: (the question is "why")
I think people should have hobbies because life would be boring if it's only about working and studying. 
After the tiring day in school or at work, people need to do other things to be able to relieve their stress and relax.
And having hobbies is a good way to do that. 
By the way, yes I think I can record the class tomorrow.
_T. SHAY^^
***
I think everyone has their own hobby. 
>>Correct
OR: I think we all have hobbies.
whatever it is that gives people pleasure is a hobby.
>>Whatever it is that gives people pleasure is a hobby.
OR: Anything that people enjoy doing and are interested in is their hobby.
In my case, riding a bike and playing golf in my free time, especially weekends are my hobbies.
>>In my case, riding a bike and playing golf in my free time, especially during weekends are my hobbies.
And I guess that watching a movie while eating snacks and staring at the window watching the raindrops(you said oneday that you enjoy those) might to be your hobbies.
>>Correct
OR: And I guess watching a movie while eating snacks and staring at the window when it's raining might be your hobbies. 
I know that a hobby is something you do for fun when you’re not working. 
>>Correct
OR: I know that a hobby is something you do to enjoy your free time. 
On the other hand, a job is something you do for a living.
>>Correct
OR: On the other hand, a job is something you do to earn money.
So in my case, I don’t usually have fun when I’m working.
>>Correct
OR: So in my case, I am usually serious when I'm working.
On the other hand, when I ride my bike along the river on the weekends, I feel really good.
>>Correct
OR: On the other hand, riding a bike along the river on the weekends make me feel good.
Therefore, I think people should work hard at work to make money, but in their free time, they should also do hobbies for their physical and mental health.
>>Therefore, I think people should work hard to make money, but in their free time, they should also do some hobbies for their physical and mental health.

※ Oh, I see.
I'm very sorry that I couldn't review the class in the morning.
Can you record the class tomorrow?
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