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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

How was your experience competing with your friends in a golf match?

작성자: 노*철
2025-03-18 1138

회원님의 영작문

People call golf as a gentleman's game.
The reason is that I have to calculate and report my own scores.
I become a player myself and a judge.
No matter what the game is, there are people who always bet.
I like to compete with myself, not against others.
I like to compete with me yesterday, me a month ago, and me a year ago.
It's a great feeling to see that I've improved.
However, it is not fun to compete with others and win, especially not because I was good at it, but because others make mistakes and I win.
Many people like the result as long as they win.
At that time, I am mentally shaken and cannot keep my mind at ease and make mistakes several times.
I want to avoid competition with others because I always lose competition with me when I compete with others.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi David, your writing clearly expresses your perspective on self-improvement and competition. I refined some sentences for smoother flow and clarity while keeping your original intent. Your viewpoint on competing with yourself rather than others is insightful and inspiring. Keep up the great work! 

~ T. Lia

People call golf as a gentleman's game.
>> People call golf a gentleman's game.

The reason is that I have to calculate and report my own scores.
>> This is because players must calculate and report their own scores.

I become a player myself and a judge.
>> I become both a player and a judge.

No matter what the game is, there are people who always bet.
>> No matter the game, there are always people who place bets.

I like to compete with myself, not against others.
>> CORRECT

I like to compete with me yesterday, me a month ago, and me a year ago.
>> I like to compete with my past self, whether it’s me from yesterday, a month ago, or a year ago.

It's a great feeling to see that I've improved.
>> CORRECT

However, it is not fun to compete with others and win, especially not because I was good at it, but because others make mistakes and I win.
>> However, I don’t enjoy competing with others and winning, especially when my victory comes from their mistakes rather than my own skill.

Many people like the result as long as they win.
>> Many people are satisfied with the result as long as they win.

At that time, I am mentally shaken and cannot keep my mind at ease and make mistakes several times.
>> In such situations, I become mentally unsettled, lose focus, and make multiple mistakes.

I want to avoid competition with others because I always lose competition with me when I compete with others.
>> I prefer to avoid competing with others because when I do, I feel like I lose the competition with myself.
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첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
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첨삭이 가능하며,

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03
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