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children to team sports

작성자: 김*민
2025-03-18 1010

회원님의 영작문

Many parents want their children to improve relationship by participating some sports team.
I considerably agree with the statement.

literatery 'Sports' needs 3 compounds - rules, competition, and objective.
Generally, two counterpart team compete one another toward same aim with abiding by rules.
One people who shows good performance only in the team can not win in the game.
Teammates should help each other for beat the opponents.
In this process, children would learn about relation skills like cooperation, communication, and teamwork.
These kind of sills also need in their future lives which Adults know already.
Therefore, parents usually want to enroll their children in the city sports team.
It is positive effect in the society.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi Seung Min!
Make sure your words are related with each other.
That's how you can show the meaning of your thoughts.
Let's keep trying!^^
~~ Teacher Sharon
Many parents want their children to improve relationship by participating some sports team.
>> Many parents want their children to improve their relationships by participating in a sports team.
I considerably agree with the statement.
>> I strongly agree with this statement.
literatery 'Sports' needs 3 compounds - rules, competition, and objective.
>> In sports, three key components are necessary: rules, competition, and objectives.
Generally, two counterpart team compete one another toward same aim with abiding by rules.
>> Generally, two opposing teams compete against each other toward the same goal while abiding by the rules.
One people who shows good performance only in the team can not win in the game.
>> One person who performs well individually cannot win the game alone.
Teammates should help each other for beat the opponents.
>> Teammates should help each other to beat their opponents.
In this process, children would learn about relation skills like cooperation, communication, and teamwork.
>> Through this process, children can develop relationship skills like cooperation, communication, and teamwork.
These kind of sills also need in their future lives which Adults know already.
>> These kinds of skills are also necessary for their future lives, as adults already know.
Therefore, parents usually want to enroll their children in the city sports team.
>> Correct
It is positive effect in the society.
>> This has a positive effect on society.






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