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Why do you want to have a pet ?

작성자: 박*호
2025-03-19 732

회원님의 영작문

My parents raised many livestocks in the countryside when I was young, including cows, chickens, dogs, cats, and rabbits. I spent my childhood playing with them, and I miss those days.
Now I live in an apartment in the city, if I want to raise a pet I have to keep a very small pet at home and often walk it outside. but I don't like it.
Among pets, I like dogs, but I like big dogs more than small dogs.
If I live with a dog, I can play and run around with the dog, and I can stay happy and healthy. and also since the dog will be always with me like an old friend, I won't feel lonely.
So I am thinking of moving to the countryside and raising a dog, especially a border collie after my daughters will get married and I will live alone.
If I live in the country with a brder collie after my retirement, it will be nice for my grandchildren to visit me and play with a border collie.
that's one of my bucket lists.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi, Soon Ho^^
Thank you for sharing.
Yes, I think living in the countryside and having a pet is a good idea. 
It's what my parents also want to do. 
I know they really miss our hometown.
_T. SHAY^^
***
My parents raised many livestocks in the countryside when I was young, including cows, chickens, dogs, cats, and rabbits.
>>My parents raised many livestock including cows, chickens, dogs, cats, and rabbits in the countryside when I was young. 
OR: When I was young, my parents raised many livestock like cows, chickens, dogs, cats, and rabbits.
I spent my childhood playing with them, and I miss those days.
>>Correct
OR: I miss those days when I used to play with the animals. 
Now I live in an apartment in the city, if I want to raise a pet I have to keep a very small pet at home and often walk it outside. but I don't like it.
>>Now I live in an apartment in the city. If I want to raise a pet, I have to keep a very small pet at home and often walk it outside. but I don't like it.
Among pets, I like dogs, but I like big dogs more than small dogs.
>>Among the different kinds of pets, I like dogs the most, but I like big dogs more than small dogs.
If I live with a dog, I can play and run around with the dog, and I can stay happy and healthy. 
>>Correct
OR: If I live with a dog, I can play with the dog and it can make me happy and healthy.
and also since the dog will be always with me like an old friend, I won't feel lonely.
>>Also, since the dog will always be with me like an old friend, I won't feel lonely.
So I am thinking of moving to the countryside and raising a dog, especially a border collie after my daughters will get married and I will live alone.
>>Correct
>>So, I am considering moving to the countryside and raising a dog, especially a border collie when my daughters get married.
If I live in the country with a brder collie after my retirement, it will be nice for my grandchildren to visit me and play with a border collie.
>>If I live in the countryside with a border colie after my retirement, it will be nice for my grandchildren to visit me and play with the border colie.
OR: Living in the countryside with a border colie and having my grandchildren visit me and play with the border colie sounds like a good idea.
that's one of my bucket lists.
>>That's one of the items in my bucket list.
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