무료 레벨테스트 받고 강사평가 남기면 1,OOO원 쿠폰 즉시 적립!

혹시 사이트에선 찾지 못한 궁금한 점이 있으세요?
남겨주신 이메일을 통해 답변 드리겠습니다.

문의하신 내용이 문자로 발송되오니
연락처를 남겨주세요.
업무시간 월~금 오전9시~오후6시
(점심시간 낮12시~오후1시)

영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Celebrities can enjoy fame and wealth. What do you think are the downsides to being a celebrity?

작성자: 문*현
2025-03-19 748

회원님의 영작문

Celebrities can enjoy fame and accumulate wealth relatively quickly compared to other professions. However, there are downsides too. First, celebrities are subject to higher moral standards. Especially this disadvantage is prominent in Asian countries. As public figures, many people expect celebrities to abide by the regulations and laws and not to commit mistakes in any circumstances. This is because many people believe celebrities need to serve as good models to the younger generation. For instance, there was a time that BTS got cancelled in Korea for not paying national health insurance. However, it was later found out that it was due to the world tour. Then there is an issue with their privacy because many people pay attention to celebrities’ lifestyle and believe celebrities are the public figure who deserve it. The development of media has accelerated privacy infringement. Now people can easily share photos on their social media and this information can spread out quickly.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Thank you for this Aciel!

Celebrities can enjoy fame and accumulate wealth relatively quickly compared to other professions. 
>>> correct  
However, there are downsides too. 
>>> correct 
>>> OR:   However, there are downsides to it as well.
First, celebrities are subject to higher moral standards. 
>>> OR: First, celebrities are subjected to higher moral standards.  
Especially this disadvantage is prominent in Asian countries. 
>>> This disadvantage is especially prominent in Asian countries. 
As public figures, many people expect celebrities to abide by the regulations and laws and not to commit mistakes in any circumstances. 
>>>  OR: As public figures, many people expect celebrities to abide by the regulations and laws and to not commit mistakes in any circumstances. 
This is because many people believe celebrities need to serve as good models to the younger generation. 
>>>  correct  
For instance, there was a time that BTS got cancelled in Korea for not paying national health insurance. 
>>>  For instance, there was a time when BTS got canceled in Korea for not paying national health insurance. 
However, it was later found out that it was due to the world tour. 
>>>   correct  
>>> OR:  However, it was later revealed that it was due to the world tour. 
Then there is an issue with their privacy because many people pay attention to celebrities’ lifestyle and believe celebrities are the public figure who deserve it. 
>>> Then there is an issue with their privacy because many people pay attention to celebrities’ lifestyles and believe celebrities are public figures who deserve it. 
The development of media has accelerated privacy infringement. 
>>>   correct   
Now people can easily share photos on their social media and this information can spread out quickly.
>>>  correct    
번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
142124 I’ve played Tic-Tac-Toe before. 유*빈 완료 2025-01-22 1468
142123 Why we sometimes cannot keep deadlines 김*우 완료 2025-01-22 1
142122 First essay!! 이*민 완료 2025-01-22 1601
142121 I want to get a modern hanbok dress this summer! 김*민 완료 2025-01-22 1721
142120 I wore a vest nowadays which my mother knitted for me! 김*민 완료 2025-01-22 1316
142119 Do you think that governments should encourage public transport... 서*아 완료 2025-01-22 2
142118 I want to change this answer into a couple of lines 이*인 완료 2025-01-22 1326
142117 I want to change this answer into a couple of lines 이*인 완료 2025-01-22 1287
142116 I want to change this answer into a couple of lines 이*인 완료 2025-01-22 1128
142115 Do people decorate their homes for Lunar New Year? 송*자 완료 2025-01-22 3
142114 Homework 이*숙 완료 2025-01-22 1702
142113 What\'s your wish for Lunar New Year? 노*철 완료 2025-01-22 1588
142112 night 민*정 완료 2025-01-22 1
142111 America 권*희 완료 2025-01-22 1141
142110 1/21 Homework 권*빈 완료 2025-01-22 1
142109 Going to kindergarten before attending primary school. 한*원 완료 2025-01-22 1398
142108 In order to make it clear... 이*훈 완료 2025-01-22 1294
142107 Who is your favorite travel companion, and why? 임*미 완료 2025-01-22 1281
142106 FYI I found the definition of \'Several\'. 이*훈 완료 2025-01-22 1421
142105 Who do you usually talk to on the phone the most? 이*범 완료 2025-01-22 1323

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

와이즈에듀케이션아이(주) 사이트명: 파워잉글리쉬 대표이사 전상현
사업자등록번호: 217-81-44736 통신판매신고번호: 2014-서울도봉-0233호
서울본사: 서울시 노원구 한글비석로 245 두타빌 B동 7층 713호
대표번호 1688-8672 개인정보관리 책임자: 안희영 [powerenglish@pweng.net]