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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

favorite hobby

작성자: 이*연
2025-03-21 740

회원님의 영작문

I have been interested in barista since I was in high school. I got a barista license and started to have a hobby while working part-time. I learned that I could perfect my skills by practicing while working part-time. I took a class in a club called barista at school and tried it for the first time
I got a barista license and worked hard to get a passion and relieved my stress by serving coffee and drinks to customers. I was able to think creatively about recipes while spending time working part-time. It became a bigger effort and gave me a sense of accomplishment.
In the future, I want to study hard to become a barista or work part-time to improve my skills and gain experience as a full-time employee or manager, and open my own cafe in the future. I also want to develop various drink recipes and try new things. I hope that becomes my job.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello Cindy,

This is fantastic! I can really see your dedication, and I love how passionate you are about being a barista. You are not just learning a skill; you are putting in the effort, practicing, and finding ways to improve. That kind of mindset is exactly what will help you succeed, not just in OPIc but in anything you set your mind to.

Your journey, from discovering your interest in high school to earning your barista license and gaining hands-on experience, shows your strong work ethic. You do not just dream about your goals; you take action to make them happen. That is something to be really proud of.

I have seen so much improvement in your speaking, and I know we are going to work hard together to get you a great score on the OPIc test. Keep going, keep practicing, and do not be afraid to challenge yourself. You have got this. I am curious, what is your favorite coffee to make, and do you have a signature recipe yet?

~Teacher Cathy

 

I have been interested in barista since I was in high school.

>>I have been interested in becoming a barista since I was in high school.

I got a barista license and started to have a hobby while working part-time.

>>CORRECT

OR>>I earned a barista license and developed it into a hobby while working part-time.

I learned that I could perfect my skills by practicing while working part-time.

>>CORRECT

OR>>I realized that I could refine my skills through practice while working part-time.

I took a class in a club called barista at school and tried it for the first time

>>CORRECT

OR>>I took a barista class in a school club and tried it for the first time.

I got a barista license and worked hard to get a passion and relieved my stress by serving coffee and drinks to customers.

>>CORRECT

OR>>I earned a barista license and worked hard to develop my passion while relieving stress by serving coffee and drinks to customers.

I was able to think creatively about recipes while spending time working part-time.

>>CORRECT

OR>>While working part-time, I was able to think creatively about developing new recipes.

It became a bigger effort and gave me a sense of accomplishment.

>>CORRECT

OR>>It required more effort but gave me a strong sense of accomplishment.

In the future, I want to study hard to become a barista or work part-time to improve my skills and gain experience as a full-time employee or manager, and open my own cafe in the future.

>>In the future, I want to study hard to become a barista, work part-time to improve my skills, gain experience as a full-time employee or manager, and eventually open my own café.

I also want to develop various drink recipes and try new things.

>>CORRECT

OR>>I also want to create a variety of drink recipes and explore new ideas.

I hope that becomes my job.

>>CORRECT

OR>>I hope that turns into my career.

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