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영작교정 게시판

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자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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서비스 입니다.

Should tourism become the biggest focus of the economy to build bridges of understanding among cultu

작성자: 문*현
2025-03-21 877

회원님의 영작문

Tourism can enhance cultural understanding. By visiting the tourist sites and exploring cities, the visitors can learn the history and experience the culture of that country. Even most Asians are eating rice, it is different on which part you are from, and tourists can have taste into it by visiting local restaurants. However, it must be in the right focus. Sometimes, tourism has a concentration on the media’s popularity. Many tourists visit K-pop artists agencies or the movie site, rather than visiting cultural and historically important places. K-wave is part of the Korea culture, but it normally fantasizes Korean and Korea, so it does not provide right image to fill gap of cultural understanding. For instance, I was surprised by how many foreigners regard Korean man as soft and good-looking which is highly stereotypical. Accordingly, tourism is the crucial factor of increasing awareness and filling the knowledge gap, but it must on the things represent the actual culture.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Thank you for this Aciel!

Tourism can enhance cultural understanding. 
>>> correct  
By visiting the tourist sites and exploring cities, the visitors can learn the history and experience the culture of that country. 
>>>  correct
Even most Asians are eating rice, it is different on which part you are from, and tourists can have taste into it by visiting local restaurants. 
>>>  Even though most Asians eat rice, it is different on which part you are from, and tourists can have a taste of it by visiting local restaurants. 
However, it must be in the right focus. 
>>>  correct
>>> OR:   However, it must be in the right location/spot. 
Sometimes, tourism has a concentration on the media’s popularity. 
>>>  correct
>>> OR: Sometimes, the focus on tourism is what's popular in the media.  
Many tourists visit K-pop artists agencies or the movie site, rather than visiting cultural and historically important places. 
>>>   correct
K-wave is part of the Korea culture, but it normally fantasizes Korean and Korea, so it does not provide right image to fill gap of cultural understanding. 
>>>   K-wave is a part of the Korean culture, but it normally fantasizes Koreans and Korea, so it does not provide the right image to fill the gap in cultural understanding. 
For instance, I was surprised by how many foreigners regard Korean man as soft and good-looking which is highly stereotypical. 
>>>   For instance, I was surprised by how many foreigners regard Korean men as soft and good-looking which is highly stereotypical. 
Accordingly, tourism is the crucial factor of increasing awareness and filling the knowledge gap, but it must on the things represent the actual culture.
>>>   Accordingly, tourism is a crucial factor in increasing awareness and filling the knowledge gap, but it must on the things that represent the actual culture.
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