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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
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작성자: 김*인
2025-03-24 727

회원님의 영작문

Ways of cheering up my family differs for each member.
For my mom it's important leave her alone and just silently cover the things that she has to do. I learned through my life that trying to cheer up through a word rather annoys her. There were some incidents in the past that made her much angrier which led atmosphere of family to a disaster that our family members are now surely educated how to deal with it. I think her way to overcome a feeling down is to just take an isolated break.
On the contrary for my older sister, I usually listen to her talk and sometimes react to it showing some sympathy. My sister relieves her stress and anxiety by speaking about it to other people. It's sometimes hard for me to listen all of them because she becomes very enthusiastic speaker whenever she is down. However, it's not a big burden because my only role is to listen to her and make sympathetic reactions occasionally.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello, Ms. WooIn! That is so admirable! It sounds like you've really tuned in to each family member's needs and figured out the best ways to support them. It can be tricky to navigate those different dynamics, especially with such different responses to stress.
-T. Sonny
Ways of cheering up my family differs for each member.
>>Ways of cheering up my family differ for each member.
For my mom it's important leave her alone and just silently cover the things that she has to do. 
>>For my mom, it’s important to leave her alone and just silently take care of the things she needs to do.
I learned through my life that trying to cheer up through a word rather annoys her. 
>>I’ve learned over time that trying to cheer her up with words rather annoys her.
There were some incidents in the past that made her much angrier which led atmosphere of family to a disaster that our family members are now surely educated how to deal with it. 
>>There have been some incidents in the past that made her much angrier, which led to an atmosphere of tension in the family. Now, our family members are well-educated on how to deal with it.
I think her way to overcome a feeling down is to just take an isolated break.
>>I think her way of overcoming feeling down is to just take an isolated break.
On the contrary for my older sister, I usually listen to her talk and sometimes react to it showing some sympathy. 
>>On the contrary, for my older sister, I usually listen to her talk and sometimes react to show sympathy.
My sister relieves her stress and anxiety by speaking about it to other people. 
>>My sister relieves her stress and anxiety by talking about it to other people.
It's sometimes hard for me to listen all of them because she becomes very enthusiastic speaker whenever she is down. 
>>It’s sometimes hard for me to listen to everything because she becomes a very enthusiastic speaker whenever she is down.
However, it's not a big burden because my only role is to listen to her and make sympathetic reactions occasionally.
>>Correct!
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