¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

3/24 homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: À±*Çö
2025-03-24 622

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I feel it¡¯s so challenging to become an entrepreneur, because he/she has some special ideas to be successful in his/her field.
Nowadays, I can see several people who show great achievements not only as a doctor, but also as an entrepreneur.
They usually get items related to medical devices or drugs for their business.
I have no idea to be an entrepreneur in the near future.
However, I want to run my business someday.
For the dream, I would achieve more as an head and neck surgeon, and find new ideas to help patients more effectively.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good morning, Dr. Stella!

I could not agree more. Being an entrepreneur means you need to oversee all the details pertaining to the business from finance, purchase, and all other aspects.

If you could also be an entrepreneur someday, you have to multi-task and I am certain that you will be able to carry out these functions pretty well.

I have just a few suggestions in grammar below. Take note of the differences and make sure that you get them correctly on your next composition. You are still very good at writing, keep up the good work!

See you in class.

-T. Donna~

I feel it¡¯s so challenging to become an entrepreneur, because he/she has some special ideas to be successful in his/her field.
>> I feel it¡¯s so challenging to become an entrepreneur, because he/she needs some special ideas to be successful in his/her field.

Nowadays, I can see several people who show great achievements not only as a doctor, but also as an entrepreneur.
>> Correct!
Or: Nowadays, I can see several people who show great achievements not only as doctors, but also as entrepreneurs.

They usually get items related to medical devices or drugs for their business.
>>  Correct!

I have no idea to be an entrepreneur in the near future.
>> Correct!
Or: I have no idea on how to be an entrepreneur in the near future.

However, I want to run my business someday.
>> Correct!

For the dream, I would achieve more as an head and neck surgeon, and find new ideas to help patients more effectively.
>> For the dream, I would achieve more as a head and neck surgeon, and find new ideas to help patients more effectively.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
142254 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-03 1
142253 Homework & Question ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-03 1401
142252 What was the hardest favor that someone asked you? ÀÓ*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-03 1797
142251 What is your ideal workplace? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2025-02-03 1646
142250 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-02-03 1
142249 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-03 0
142248 The effective ways to handle data: AI ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-02-03 1
142247 Which part of getting old scares you most? ¼­*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-03 1
142246 What regulations do you think countries should have to make a... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2025-02-03 1192
142245 International news ÇÑ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2025-02-03 1830
142244 Are banks the best place to keep your money in? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-03 1505
142243 Homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-03 1255
142242 Homework ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2025-02-03 1729
142241 What are the things you expect from the class ? ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-03 1791
142240 What¡¯s a habit you have that you think might bother others? ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2025-02-03 1647
142239 1/27 homework ±Ç*ºó ¿Ï·á 2025-02-03 0
142238 It¡¯s showing day. Á¶*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-02-03 2
142237 Homework & Question ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-02 1526
142236 What did you enjoy the most about Seollal this year? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2025-02-02 1381
142235 Homework ÀÌ*µµ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-02 1552

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04