¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What did you all talk about while having brunch?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ³ë*ö
2025-03-25 833

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Totally there were seven people at my mother's birthday party. (My first sister and her 25-year-old son, my younger sister and her husband, and our couple.)
My little sister has no children.
Our story topics are really diverse.
We talked a lot about life, such as our hobbies and our work life, as well as about diet and skin care, and about celebrities.
The story of my family that we always talk about is the story of two daughters studying in the United States.
My mother likes to hear from Kylie and Nikki a lot.
While eating shabu-shabu, we all had video calls with Kylie and Nikki.
There is nothing more enjoyable than seeing the face of the person we want to see.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello David, your writing effectively captures the warmth of a family gathering! I made some adjustments for clarity and natural flow, especially in phrasing and sentence structure. Keep up the great work. You¡¯re doing well in expressing emotions through writing!

~ T. Lia

Totally there were seven people at my mother's birthday party.
>> In total, there were seven people at my mother¡¯s birthday party.

(My first sister and her 25-year-old son, my younger sister and her husband, and our couple.)
>> (My eldest sister and her 25-year-old son, my younger sister and her husband, and my husband and me.)

My little sister has no children.
>> My younger sister has no children.

Our story topics are really diverse.
>> We talked about a wide variety of topics.

We talked a lot about life, such as our hobbies and our work life, as well as about diet and skin care, and about celebrities.
>> We had many conversations about life, including our hobbies, work, diet, skincare, and celebrities.

The story of my family that we always talk about is the story of two daughters studying in the United States.
>> A topic that always comes up in our family is the story of two daughters studying in the United States.

My mother likes to hear from Kylie and Nikki a lot.
>> My mother loves hearing from Kylie and Nikki.

While eating shabu-shabu, we all had video calls with Kylie and Nikki.
>> While enjoying shabu-shabu, we all had a video call with Kylie and Nikki.

There is nothing more enjoyable than seeing the face of the person we want to see.
>> There is nothing more enjoyable than seeing the faces of our loved ones.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
142521 10 feb2025 ±è*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2025-02-14 1419
142520 12feb2025 ±è*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2025-02-14 1394
142519 Homework & Question ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-14 1178
142518 How do you feel after finishing all that cleaning? ³ë*ö ¿Ï·á 2025-02-14 1202
142517 Some people believe that tourism destroys local culture. To what... °­*À² ¿Ï·á 2025-02-14 2
142516 Do you believe that making an impression is comparable to... ÃÖ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-14 1576
142515 Valentine\'s Day ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-14 1
142514 What are the advantages and disadvantages of having many cousins? Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-02-14 1351
142513 2/13 Homework ±Ç*ºó ¿Ï·á 2025-02-14 1
142512 Is riding an airplane something you enjoy ? ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-14 1449
142511 AI phone ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-14 1469
142510 HOMEWORk ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-02-14 0
142509 Are GMO\'s good or bad? ±Ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-02-14 6
142508 Homework ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2025-02-13 1568
142507 homework ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2025-02-13 1452
142506 Stores vs Online Shopping ¼Õ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-13 1578
142505 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-13 1
142504 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-13 0
142503 Operation post care ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2025-02-13 14
142502 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-13 1387

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04