¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What did you all talk about while having brunch?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ³ë*ö
2025-03-25 825

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Totally there were seven people at my mother's birthday party. (My first sister and her 25-year-old son, my younger sister and her husband, and our couple.)
My little sister has no children.
Our story topics are really diverse.
We talked a lot about life, such as our hobbies and our work life, as well as about diet and skin care, and about celebrities.
The story of my family that we always talk about is the story of two daughters studying in the United States.
My mother likes to hear from Kylie and Nikki a lot.
While eating shabu-shabu, we all had video calls with Kylie and Nikki.
There is nothing more enjoyable than seeing the face of the person we want to see.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello David, your writing effectively captures the warmth of a family gathering! I made some adjustments for clarity and natural flow, especially in phrasing and sentence structure. Keep up the great work. You¡¯re doing well in expressing emotions through writing!

~ T. Lia

Totally there were seven people at my mother's birthday party.
>> In total, there were seven people at my mother¡¯s birthday party.

(My first sister and her 25-year-old son, my younger sister and her husband, and our couple.)
>> (My eldest sister and her 25-year-old son, my younger sister and her husband, and my husband and me.)

My little sister has no children.
>> My younger sister has no children.

Our story topics are really diverse.
>> We talked about a wide variety of topics.

We talked a lot about life, such as our hobbies and our work life, as well as about diet and skin care, and about celebrities.
>> We had many conversations about life, including our hobbies, work, diet, skincare, and celebrities.

The story of my family that we always talk about is the story of two daughters studying in the United States.
>> A topic that always comes up in our family is the story of two daughters studying in the United States.

My mother likes to hear from Kylie and Nikki a lot.
>> My mother loves hearing from Kylie and Nikki.

While eating shabu-shabu, we all had video calls with Kylie and Nikki.
>> While enjoying shabu-shabu, we all had a video call with Kylie and Nikki.

There is nothing more enjoyable than seeing the face of the person we want to see.
>> There is nothing more enjoyable than seeing the faces of our loved ones.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
145085 Do you prefer learning alone or in a group? Explain why. Á¶*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2025-07-15 243
145084 What would be the biggest challenge of living on an island? ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-15 257
145083 Homework ±Ç*°æ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-15 204
145082 Regarding of my assingnment. ÃÖ*ö ¿Ï·á 2025-07-15 259
145081 Homework ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2025-07-15 231
145080 Homework ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2025-07-15 0
145079 Homework ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2025-07-15 229
145078 Homework ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2025-07-15 0
145077 Homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-15 286
145076 concert ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-15 2
145075 How can people know if the news they read or watch is true ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-07-15 205
145074 very nice Te*002 ¿Ï·á 2025-07-15 242
145073 review this Te*002 ¿Ï·á 2025-07-15 247
145072 title test Te*002 ¿Ï·á 2025-07-15 243
145071 title test Te*002 ¿Ï·á 2025-07-15 267
145070 Resom Resort ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-15 228
145069 ¤Ó¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-15 284
145068 07/14 Homework ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-14 12
145067 Would you like to ride a flying car? Why or why not? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2025-07-14 230
145066 Homework ¹Ú*¸° ¿Ï·á 2025-07-14 256

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04