¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Have you ever felt that painting takes too much time and effort?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ³ë*ö
2025-03-26 845

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

It takes a lot of time and effort for all art, whether it's music or art.
As I said yesterday, I woke up early due to insomnia last year, so I needed activities to do at dawn.
In fact, art was a good choice because sound does not harm others like music.
The work of drawing has been interesting for several months and all the members who worked with me have worked hard.
But as time passed, the members disappeared one by one, and I ended up alone.
At first, I could see my growth clearly through the picture.
After 6 months or so, I was continuing to paint a similar level.
I felt that raising my level one step required too much time and effort.
I thought that the reason why the members gave up art one by one was because of the same thoughts as me.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi David, your writing beautifully captures the struggle of learning and the emotions that come with it. Additionally, your response was well-structured and conveyed a clear reflection on your artistic journey. Your ideas were easy to follow, but there were a few grammar adjustments needed for smoother readability. Pay close attention to word choices and sentence flow, especially when comparing concepts. I added more details to expand on your thoughts and included encouragement to remind you that hitting a plateau doesn¡¯t mean stopping. It means you¡¯re on the verge of a breakthrough. Great effort! Keep going, and remember that every great artist has felt this way at some point. 

~ T. Lia

It takes a lot of time and effort for all art, whether it's music or art.
>> It takes a lot of time and effort for all forms of art, whether it's music or visual art.

As I said yesterday, I woke up early due to insomnia last year, so I needed activities to do at dawn.
>> As I said yesterday, I used to wake up early due to insomnia last year, so I needed activities to do at dawn.

In fact, art was a good choice because sound does not harm others like music.
>> In fact, art was a good choice because, unlike music, it does not produce sound that could disturb others.

The work of drawing has been interesting for several months and all the members who worked with me have worked hard.
>> Drawing has been interesting for several months, and all the members who worked with me put in a lot of effort.

But as time passed, the members disappeared one by one, and I ended up alone.
>> However, as time passed, the members left one by one, and I ended up alone.

At first, I could see my growth clearly through the picture.
>> At first, I could see my progress clearly through my drawings.

After 6 months or so, I was continuing to paint a similar level.
>> After about six months, I found myself painting at a similar level.

I felt that raising my level one step required too much time and effort.
>> CORRECT

I thought that the reason why the members gave up art one by one was because of the same thoughts as me.
>> I thought the reason the members gave up art one by one was that they had the same thoughts as I did.



¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
142452 Exercise in the gym or Outdoor exercise-Exercising in the gym is... ¼Õ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-11 1650
142451 How would you describe your glasses to someone over the phone? Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-11 1
142450 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-11 1280
142449 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-02-11 3
142448 Who\'s the most outstanding male you know? What makes him... Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-02-11 1313
142447 How long are you usually allowed to play games and not study? Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-02-11 1256
142446 What is your ideal family structure? ¼­*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-11 1
142445 Homework ÀÌ*µµ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-11 1442
142444 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-11 1354
142443 The homework of 10th Fab. Á¶*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-11 1255
142442 > Since you have experienced being a foreign student yourself,... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2025-02-11 1296
142441 What do you think of Mr. Yoon\'s impeachment? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-11 1380
142440 Do you enjoy spending time alone, or do you prefer to be around... ¼Û*ÀÚ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-11 2
142439 Homework ¿À*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-11 1800
142438 Homework & Question ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-11 1529
142437 What¡¯s the most fun exercise you¡¯ve ever tried? ÀÌ*Å ¿Ï·á 2025-02-11 1543
142436 How do you feel when people say something negative about you? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-11 1447
142435 Which is better for communication, e-mail or handwritten letters? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-11 1305
142434 What is your source of happiness these days? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-11 1228
142433 Homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-11 1436

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04